Life After Divorce & Your Kids - The Choices You Make Impact Your Kids After a Divorce
Moving on from a divorce can be a long hard road not only for you but also for your children.
Many parents don't realize the impact that "parenting time" has on their children.
For kids, time equal love.
The amount of time kids get with their parents after a divorce changes.
Let's look at how important your role is in this.
Custodial Parents You are the ones the kids see the most.
That doesn't necessarily mean you've been involved though.
A divorce can be emotionally traumatic, leaving some parents ill-equipped for all of the changes and responsibilities they are suddenly faced with.
When you "check out" and withdraw there are still things that need to get done and that usually falls on the kids' shoulders even though they may be hurting just as much as you.
It's important to put your feelings and fears aside if even for an hour so that you can focus on your kids.
Give them the time they need from you to feel safe and secure that you're there for them as their parent not just their provider.
Non-Custodial Parents You have the greatest potential for impact both positive and negative.
You are the ones your children miss the most.
They've been used to seeing you on a regular basis and now that has changed.
Unfortunately, a lot of parents have a hard time with this too and deal with it by spending even less time with their kids, because it's just too painful to see them.
I can't stress enough how much damage this does to your children.
They don't understand your reasoning and only see it as you abandoning them when they need you the most.
I'm also going to take a stand here and say you are being selfish.
You're more interested in YOUR needs than you are your children's when you do this.
They Need You Kids need to feel secure that you love them.
The way they feel that way is when you are regularly present in their lives.
When that doesn't happen then one of two things will happen: 1.
They will act out in such a way that forces you to be more involved (even if that means you're yelling at them) 2.
They will act on the surface like they are OK with it, but what they're really doing is pulling inside themselves, putting them at risk for depression and drug use later.
Show your kids that they are a priority, don't just tell them.
Invest in your kids today with your time.
Many parents don't realize the impact that "parenting time" has on their children.
For kids, time equal love.
The amount of time kids get with their parents after a divorce changes.
Let's look at how important your role is in this.
Custodial Parents You are the ones the kids see the most.
That doesn't necessarily mean you've been involved though.
A divorce can be emotionally traumatic, leaving some parents ill-equipped for all of the changes and responsibilities they are suddenly faced with.
When you "check out" and withdraw there are still things that need to get done and that usually falls on the kids' shoulders even though they may be hurting just as much as you.
It's important to put your feelings and fears aside if even for an hour so that you can focus on your kids.
Give them the time they need from you to feel safe and secure that you're there for them as their parent not just their provider.
Non-Custodial Parents You have the greatest potential for impact both positive and negative.
You are the ones your children miss the most.
They've been used to seeing you on a regular basis and now that has changed.
Unfortunately, a lot of parents have a hard time with this too and deal with it by spending even less time with their kids, because it's just too painful to see them.
I can't stress enough how much damage this does to your children.
They don't understand your reasoning and only see it as you abandoning them when they need you the most.
I'm also going to take a stand here and say you are being selfish.
You're more interested in YOUR needs than you are your children's when you do this.
They Need You Kids need to feel secure that you love them.
The way they feel that way is when you are regularly present in their lives.
When that doesn't happen then one of two things will happen: 1.
They will act out in such a way that forces you to be more involved (even if that means you're yelling at them) 2.
They will act on the surface like they are OK with it, but what they're really doing is pulling inside themselves, putting them at risk for depression and drug use later.
Show your kids that they are a priority, don't just tell them.
Invest in your kids today with your time.