Learning How To Save Your Marriage After Separation
However that is not always valid.
Separating from your spouse may really hurt, but look on the bright side - you establish a new appreciation for the very intricate dynamics of your marriage, you distinguish your own personal goals, and you take some necessary time and space to get your life sorted.
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A separation probably won't work if a couple is not really well matched towards each other, but it can work wonders for a couple that just needs a little time apart.
Give and Take
A marriage won't survive if you are not eager to meet each other in between.
This doesn't mean you have to give in to your partner's demands, and one partner shouldn't be allowed to control the other.
What give and take alludes to is that you both need to be able to hear what the other person wants, and be willing to compromise whenever possible.
Not all conflicts can be resolved by compromise. Differences in career goals, and whether or not to have children are examples of life decisions that can't be solved through negotiation.
The "small stuff," however, like certain financial habits, work or recreational patterns, and other day-to-day happenings really should be worked out to find a mutual understanding.
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Communicate
For any relationship to work, communication is an integral element.
Many couples think that yelling and screaming at each other, or giving each other the silent treatment, is a useful way to get their point across.
This is not the answer and will just make the problem worse.
Both people in a relationship have to be willing to listen to each other, and avoid letting past disappointments get in the road of what you both require.
Next, you must become willing to communicate - civilly!
Consulting a Counselor
Outside help from an objective third party can help significantly during a separation.
Especially for a somewhat non-traditional union, it can sometimes be a challenge to find just the right therapist to suit your particular needs.
Put forth the effort, though, and you'll be glad you did!.
An experienced counselor can provide for you a impartial view on the issues in your marriage, without getting wound up in all of your past baggage.
If you're displeased with the counselor you have chosen, you can simply change, and you do not need to follow their advice exactly.
But you should take a counselor's advice into consideration, since a good counselor can be very helpful in helping you pinpoint the problems within your marriage.
One of the things you must keep in mind while you are learning how to save your marriage after separation is that there are no quick fixes.
If you are prepared to meet your spouse halfway whenever possible, communicate openly, calmly, and honestly, and WORK HARD to improve your relationship, you certainly have an improved chance!.
Take some time to consider all the reasons why you would like to be together, including why you married your partner in the first place, and you may find there is a whole lot of hope after all.
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