How do you deal with a stalking that goes on for years? As incredible as it may sound there are men and women trying to live their lives aware that in the background there is always someone there waiting for a moment of weakness or opportunity to pounce.
To restrain and isolate you is the objective of a stalker. They want you exclusively and never take kindly to interference from others. They see it as their supreme or god given right to divide and conquer leaving you with a shadow of the life you knew before. Their aim is to attach themselves to you in every conceivable way.
The long-term stalker cannot let go. They probably begin like most with the flowers and gifts. Then it moves to constant harassment via phone calls and visits eventually leading to the violence they continually threaten to do. This could mean they will hurt you your pet or a friend or family member. Whatever it takes to get your undivided attention. In seeing that even an act of violence may not change your mind they can revert right back to the flowers and cards in a bid to win you over with pleas for forgiveness. All that emotional mayhem wrapped up in a time bomb of a human being.
A long-term stalker may be referred to as the erotomaniac stalker. They truly believe they are in love with you and the feeling is reciprocated. No amount of persuasion can discourage them. This is very hard to deal with as everything you do is interpreted as an act of love on your part. As time goes on these feelings can turn into jealousy and rage especially when no interest in them is shown. As they are impulsive and paranoid with psychotic tendencies they are capable of violence If the stalking is able to go on for years this character becomes psychotic and can lose all sense of reality.
So how do you stop yourself from going insane as well? The best advice is live one day at a time. There is no doubt that a victim of a long-term stalking can experience immense psychological problems themselves. A stalker like this loves mind games and will think nothing of playing them over and over again. If it gets the desired effect even once it will be seen as a form of surrender and will renew hope. How can that not affect the victim? Try to imagine years of psychological warfare mixed with physical abuse then wonder how tough it must be to keep a sane head on your shoulders.
Do not have any contact with this stalker and try to ignore them. Any interaction with them will be seen as an act of the love they believe you have for them. Keep safe and stay as far away from this character as you can. These Romeo style stalkers are a source of frustration to their victims as no always seems to mean maybe.
Tell a person waiting at the bus stop that you have had a stalker on your back for five years and you will probably be met with sheer disbelief. The words from their lips will probably be how do you cope?
If many years of stalking have taken place new coping mechanisms will be necessary. Keeping yourself on red alert constantly would not be sustainable This flight or fight reaction to stress or danger causes an automatic boost in adrenalin which prepares a person for whatever action they need to take. Living on the edge like this over an extended period of time could easily result in illness.
An aggressive approach will never work against a stalker as it will lead to them retaliating in a very negative way. This is assuming you have had as much legal help as you were able to get at this point. A kind of quiet or passive resistance may be your best bet. This involves ignoring the stalker and getting on with life. For your own sanity passively resisting the stalker gives you a more peaceful approach to the turmoil around you and will enable you to think a lot more clearly. Sounding absurd? You will be in no fit state to deal with anything if your own feelings are out of control and if the time comes that the stalker is arrested you will need to be at the top of your game in court to make sure he goes to prison.
It is often the case that a victim of long-term stalking will tend to live their life around it not wanting to do anything to upset the stalker for fear of redemption. They therefore create a kind of prison in their minds where the stalker has more authority than they should. Trying to free yourself from this self inflicted prison will not be easy as the fear of taking steps to control your life again will be very real. You have to ask yourself what is the worst that could possibly happen? If you can face this possibility head on you have begun the climb back to yourself. With the help of a therapist or counsellor you can free your mind from the stalkers grip. If you are living life thinking about the stalker day and night then they have done their job very well. Reclaiming your life is critical. They may end up going to jail eventually but you as the victim may take years to undo the psychological damage done to you from this long-term stalking. So many victims keep looking over their shoulder and living in fear for years after the stalking has ended.
If you have managed to make it through this kind of horror then you are a true survivor. In fact you are much more than that. You are a believer in your own life and choices. Many people who experience such horrific circumstances often find they have a spiritual awakening which enables them to make some sort of sense of what has happened to them. They often are able to go on with their lives successfully.
If it does not kill us it makes us stronger is a very apt saying for a survivor of a long-term stalking.
To restrain and isolate you is the objective of a stalker. They want you exclusively and never take kindly to interference from others. They see it as their supreme or god given right to divide and conquer leaving you with a shadow of the life you knew before. Their aim is to attach themselves to you in every conceivable way.
The long-term stalker cannot let go. They probably begin like most with the flowers and gifts. Then it moves to constant harassment via phone calls and visits eventually leading to the violence they continually threaten to do. This could mean they will hurt you your pet or a friend or family member. Whatever it takes to get your undivided attention. In seeing that even an act of violence may not change your mind they can revert right back to the flowers and cards in a bid to win you over with pleas for forgiveness. All that emotional mayhem wrapped up in a time bomb of a human being.
A long-term stalker may be referred to as the erotomaniac stalker. They truly believe they are in love with you and the feeling is reciprocated. No amount of persuasion can discourage them. This is very hard to deal with as everything you do is interpreted as an act of love on your part. As time goes on these feelings can turn into jealousy and rage especially when no interest in them is shown. As they are impulsive and paranoid with psychotic tendencies they are capable of violence If the stalking is able to go on for years this character becomes psychotic and can lose all sense of reality.
So how do you stop yourself from going insane as well? The best advice is live one day at a time. There is no doubt that a victim of a long-term stalking can experience immense psychological problems themselves. A stalker like this loves mind games and will think nothing of playing them over and over again. If it gets the desired effect even once it will be seen as a form of surrender and will renew hope. How can that not affect the victim? Try to imagine years of psychological warfare mixed with physical abuse then wonder how tough it must be to keep a sane head on your shoulders.
Do not have any contact with this stalker and try to ignore them. Any interaction with them will be seen as an act of the love they believe you have for them. Keep safe and stay as far away from this character as you can. These Romeo style stalkers are a source of frustration to their victims as no always seems to mean maybe.
Tell a person waiting at the bus stop that you have had a stalker on your back for five years and you will probably be met with sheer disbelief. The words from their lips will probably be how do you cope?
If many years of stalking have taken place new coping mechanisms will be necessary. Keeping yourself on red alert constantly would not be sustainable This flight or fight reaction to stress or danger causes an automatic boost in adrenalin which prepares a person for whatever action they need to take. Living on the edge like this over an extended period of time could easily result in illness.
An aggressive approach will never work against a stalker as it will lead to them retaliating in a very negative way. This is assuming you have had as much legal help as you were able to get at this point. A kind of quiet or passive resistance may be your best bet. This involves ignoring the stalker and getting on with life. For your own sanity passively resisting the stalker gives you a more peaceful approach to the turmoil around you and will enable you to think a lot more clearly. Sounding absurd? You will be in no fit state to deal with anything if your own feelings are out of control and if the time comes that the stalker is arrested you will need to be at the top of your game in court to make sure he goes to prison.
It is often the case that a victim of long-term stalking will tend to live their life around it not wanting to do anything to upset the stalker for fear of redemption. They therefore create a kind of prison in their minds where the stalker has more authority than they should. Trying to free yourself from this self inflicted prison will not be easy as the fear of taking steps to control your life again will be very real. You have to ask yourself what is the worst that could possibly happen? If you can face this possibility head on you have begun the climb back to yourself. With the help of a therapist or counsellor you can free your mind from the stalkers grip. If you are living life thinking about the stalker day and night then they have done their job very well. Reclaiming your life is critical. They may end up going to jail eventually but you as the victim may take years to undo the psychological damage done to you from this long-term stalking. So many victims keep looking over their shoulder and living in fear for years after the stalking has ended.
If you have managed to make it through this kind of horror then you are a true survivor. In fact you are much more than that. You are a believer in your own life and choices. Many people who experience such horrific circumstances often find they have a spiritual awakening which enables them to make some sort of sense of what has happened to them. They often are able to go on with their lives successfully.
If it does not kill us it makes us stronger is a very apt saying for a survivor of a long-term stalking.