How to Keep Yourself From Falling Apart When You"re Trying to Save Your Marriage
It's very hard to be in a failing marriage.
Everything you've worked for - all the time you've invested - is now falling apart.
Your heart is breaking, and you can't seem to think clearly anymore.
When you want to save your marriage, you have to pick yourself up and keep yourself from falling apart.
When a marriage reaches this point, it is hard to communicate with each other.
Talking almost always turn into arguing.
When you feel an argument coming on, walk away from it.
Say that you don't want to fight anymore, and you can talk about it later.
Try to see problems through your spouse's eyes.
Or pretend that you're someone outside of your marriage - how do you see your problems? Are they as big as they seem to you right now? Trying to see things from someone else's perspective lets you see that your problem isn't that bad, really, but the stress you are under is making it seem huge.
Take a break from this stress.
Give yourself a 'time-out' space.
Go into a room and close the door, and pretend you're somewhere else.
What was your favorite place when you were a kid? Let your mind go back to that happy time - that happy place.
You will feel the tension start to leave your body.
When you calm down, try to talk to your spouse again.
Let them know that you understand why they are upset, and that you are, too, but neither of you will get anywhere if you keep fighting about everything.
Ask your spouse what they think about what is happening in your marriage, and tell them what you think.
You may both see things differently.
Ask them how they think that the problem could be solved, and let them know how you think it could.
By keeping yourself as calm as you can, you will be able to think better.
Your spouse will stay calmer, because they will see that you aren't getting angry, and they won't be as defensive.
Right now, you may think it can't get much worse.
Get those thoughts out of your head - think positively.
That's easier said than done, but studies have been done about this - people who make themselves think positively tend to fix problems easier, and usually see the results they want to see - in any situation.
When you want to save your marriage, you have to be strong - and stay strong.
It will be well worth it.
Everything you've worked for - all the time you've invested - is now falling apart.
Your heart is breaking, and you can't seem to think clearly anymore.
When you want to save your marriage, you have to pick yourself up and keep yourself from falling apart.
When a marriage reaches this point, it is hard to communicate with each other.
Talking almost always turn into arguing.
When you feel an argument coming on, walk away from it.
Say that you don't want to fight anymore, and you can talk about it later.
Try to see problems through your spouse's eyes.
Or pretend that you're someone outside of your marriage - how do you see your problems? Are they as big as they seem to you right now? Trying to see things from someone else's perspective lets you see that your problem isn't that bad, really, but the stress you are under is making it seem huge.
Take a break from this stress.
Give yourself a 'time-out' space.
Go into a room and close the door, and pretend you're somewhere else.
What was your favorite place when you were a kid? Let your mind go back to that happy time - that happy place.
You will feel the tension start to leave your body.
When you calm down, try to talk to your spouse again.
Let them know that you understand why they are upset, and that you are, too, but neither of you will get anywhere if you keep fighting about everything.
Ask your spouse what they think about what is happening in your marriage, and tell them what you think.
You may both see things differently.
Ask them how they think that the problem could be solved, and let them know how you think it could.
By keeping yourself as calm as you can, you will be able to think better.
Your spouse will stay calmer, because they will see that you aren't getting angry, and they won't be as defensive.
Right now, you may think it can't get much worse.
Get those thoughts out of your head - think positively.
That's easier said than done, but studies have been done about this - people who make themselves think positively tend to fix problems easier, and usually see the results they want to see - in any situation.
When you want to save your marriage, you have to be strong - and stay strong.
It will be well worth it.