- 1). Decide on a fair outcome. The goal for a fair fight is not "I win, you lose," but something that is mutually acceptable. The outcome can be that you and the other person agree to disagree.
- 2). Set aside an appropriate time and place. Stay focused during the time allotted on the specific problem without bringing up past grievances. Eliminate distractions and keep the fight private.
- 3). Define the problem to the other person and how it makes you feel. Be specific and use statements that begin with, "I feel." Be respectful of the other person and stay calm.
- 4). Allow the other person to express his feelings and opinion. Listen to what the person is saying and try to see the issue from his perspective. To demonstrate that you are listening and understand, restate what you heard the other person say.
- 5). Be persistent in achieving the desired outcome. Keep the communication open, but take breaks when necessary if you or the other person feel the fight escalating. Be willing to compromise if the desired outcome cannot be reached.
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