When youre about to confront a spouse for two-timing you, there is a tinge of fear within you. You have no idea how the conversation will turn out. If everything goes as planned, youre lucky. If it worsens the relationship, you need to face the negative consequences. Thats why you have to be careful not only at the start but all through the entire process. To ensure success, consider the five guidelines stated below.
Dont just burst out.
At the peak of anger, the easiest thing to do is to flare up for release. If you allow this to happen, youll end up doing it at a wrong timing. Consequently, you and your partner will get embarrassed from this impulsive act. If you want to save your face and composure, take a few deep breaths and be calm. If you need some time, you may turn around for a while.
Be objective in dealing with the situation.
Many couples end up fighting over an issue because they present the facts defensively and offensively rather than objectively. Dont forget that the aim of confrontation is understanding. If you keep on attacking your partner or defending yourself, youre putting a communication hurdle between you. Lay down the facts and evidences without subjectivity.
Tell him/her your pain.
Unfaithfulness is too heartbreaking to be dismissed. It can cause depression, insecurity and rejection. If these arent handled correctly, it can dampen a persons spirit. So without forgetting the second step, express your pain to your spouse. He/She must know what youre going through because it was his/her move that caused the hurt. If he/she chooses to ignore you, dont insist. You can always call a trusted friend later.
Listen to your partner wholeheartedly.
There will always be a reason for his/her unfaithfulness and you deserve the truth. Ask him/her to tell you the truth and be ready for whatever will come out. Dont cut him/her off as he/she elaborates. Sometimes being quiet can compel him to explain his side further. You will naturally feel hurt but being biased wont help. Let him/her elaborate what truly happened. It will be the only way to know if infidelity was his/her choice or a consequence of your cold treatment to your relationship.
Come up with an agreement.
After your conversation, come up with an agreement. Are you ready to forgive the wrongdoing and start all over again? Is the cut so deep you need to process divorce or annulment? Dont rush in finalizing your decision. Take your time in pondering about the situation. Deciding while the emotions are still intense is not the perfect time.
Confrontation doesnt have to be aggressive. Just dont forget the value of respect and follow the no-violence policy. It may be a difficult process but its the only way to set yourself free from your misery. So gather your courage and patience to make things right.
Dont just burst out.
At the peak of anger, the easiest thing to do is to flare up for release. If you allow this to happen, youll end up doing it at a wrong timing. Consequently, you and your partner will get embarrassed from this impulsive act. If you want to save your face and composure, take a few deep breaths and be calm. If you need some time, you may turn around for a while.
Be objective in dealing with the situation.
Many couples end up fighting over an issue because they present the facts defensively and offensively rather than objectively. Dont forget that the aim of confrontation is understanding. If you keep on attacking your partner or defending yourself, youre putting a communication hurdle between you. Lay down the facts and evidences without subjectivity.
Tell him/her your pain.
Unfaithfulness is too heartbreaking to be dismissed. It can cause depression, insecurity and rejection. If these arent handled correctly, it can dampen a persons spirit. So without forgetting the second step, express your pain to your spouse. He/She must know what youre going through because it was his/her move that caused the hurt. If he/she chooses to ignore you, dont insist. You can always call a trusted friend later.
Listen to your partner wholeheartedly.
There will always be a reason for his/her unfaithfulness and you deserve the truth. Ask him/her to tell you the truth and be ready for whatever will come out. Dont cut him/her off as he/she elaborates. Sometimes being quiet can compel him to explain his side further. You will naturally feel hurt but being biased wont help. Let him/her elaborate what truly happened. It will be the only way to know if infidelity was his/her choice or a consequence of your cold treatment to your relationship.
Come up with an agreement.
After your conversation, come up with an agreement. Are you ready to forgive the wrongdoing and start all over again? Is the cut so deep you need to process divorce or annulment? Dont rush in finalizing your decision. Take your time in pondering about the situation. Deciding while the emotions are still intense is not the perfect time.
Confrontation doesnt have to be aggressive. Just dont forget the value of respect and follow the no-violence policy. It may be a difficult process but its the only way to set yourself free from your misery. So gather your courage and patience to make things right.