It is a sad fact that when one half of a married couple has a substance abuse problem, the problem becomes a "third party" in that relationship.
Suddenly, you have two spouses and the "issue" that seems to dominate every aspect of their marriage.
How does one deal with this intruder? When substance abuse enters a marriage, you now have an abuser and a victim.
Technically speaking, the non-using partner, otherwise known as the victim, is left to deal with the wreckage caused by the user.
It is usually up to the sober partner to:

• maintain a job,
• pay the bills,
• maintain the upkeep on the home, and
• most importantly, raise their children.
  

While the victim might have asked to take a part in these huge responsibilities, they did not ask to be a part of substance abuse.
At the first sign of addiction, it is human nature to want to "fix" what is broken.
However, if the partner is unwilling to admit their problem, that problem grows to out-of-control proportions.
Lying, cheating and, possibly even stealing, can eventually become routine.
Frequently substance abuse turns into physical violence towards family members also.
If the user refuses to seek treatment, it is up to the other partner to make the difficult decision of whether to stay or to go.
Too often, people tend to take the attitude they can '"love" the person out of their addiction.
Unfortunately, no amount of love can fill this void.
They begin to make excuses for unacceptable behavior, and in the case of many, begin to suffer physical violence when the user is not high, or out of their drug of choice.
Children are forced to witness unspeakable acts, violent fights, and loud, vile, screaming matches.
Many of these children become so accustomed to seeing these confrontations that it is simply "normal" for them, and they grow up assuming the negative behaviors are normal and expect it in their own married life.
One important point to remember is it is never too late to get help.
If the user refuses to seek assistance, then it is up to the sober party to seek the assistance from any reliable source that they can.
This could be anyone from:

• family,
• close friends,
• clergy, or
• an outside source

and discuss options before it's too late for the entire family.
There is a way out, and even though it doesn't seem like it then, there is always a chance to overcome the problem.