Money makes the world - not to mention marriages - go round. If you don't want it to make your relationship go topsy turvy, then you have to take control of money matters from the start. To begin, talk to each other about your philosophies on money. You might be dealing with a spender versus saver situation, for example.
Regardless, you're likely to have different ideas about money based on both your family of origin's approach to finances and your career (rather, salary) and personal experiences as a single person. The first order of business is to get on the same page. Here are the money moves that will allow you to do that:Â
The biggest money chores you have are paying bills, tracking and paying taxes, and investing and saving. You have to decide who will be taking charge of these matters. You should each play up your strengths. If you're good at saving, then you take on that job and let your husband handle paying the bills. You'll also have to have a plan on keeping each other apprised of what's happening with your end of the money chores.
You'll have to agree how you'll pay for things. So, get to talking. Will you have an account to which you'll both contribute to pay for utilities and either rent or mortgage? What about groceries? Where is that money going to come from and who will take the lead?Â
Some couples have all their money in one pile so to speak. Others have some money they save together, and some they save separately. The two of you have to communicate and decide what works for you. If you decide on a joint account, head to the bank together and be prepared to ask questions to make sure you get the best interest rates and deals, depending on what kind of account you want.Â
Sit down together and figure out how much money you need to cover bills, including necessities, such as groceries, on a weekly and monthly basis. Then, decide how much you want to save. Compare this to your earnings and set limits on yourselves. Sometimes, it helps to track your spending for an entire week or month Just seeing the prices for things can encourage you to save. For instance, you might nix that latte at Starbucks when you realize you're blowing $30 to $50 per week there.Â
You should both commit to setting aside a certain amount of money for hard times. Finance people will tell you to save up enough for at least six months without earnings. A year, of course, would be better but maybe not realistic. Also, you should have savings for retirement. Many employers offer 401K accounts to employees, but you can always open an IRA, too.
There are other investments, such as mutual funds or stocks, that can help you sock away savings. Or you could save up for a home, which is also an investment in the future. Prioritize and plan together. If you want professional advice, consider meeting with a financial planner.Â
Lots of newlyweds come into marriage with student loan or credit card debt. Some even go into debt when planning their dream wedding. Come up with a plan on how to pay it all off as quickly as possible. And stick to your strategy as best you can. Debt can cripple a couple's finances and cause unnecessary tension in a relationship.Â
My mother once sent my father out to buy a new washing machine, and he came home with a Cadillac. No joke. My mother was a good sport about it. But it wasn't my father's best move as a husband. Rule No. 1 is to inform your spouse when you need or want to make a big purchase. Then, decide together if it's the right thing to do. Compromise is key. My parents had enough to afford both the car and the washing machine. But if they hadn't, my father's decision would have caused a huge rift, I'm sure. That's exactly what you don't want.Â
That is the perfect segue to stopping the money fights. Having a financial safety net for hard times can help keep tension at bay. But sometimes just having a different idea about how to spend or save can cause a disagreement. Communicate, be civil, and try not to make money mistakes that will just bring out the beast in you both.Â
Regardless, you're likely to have different ideas about money based on both your family of origin's approach to finances and your career (rather, salary) and personal experiences as a single person. The first order of business is to get on the same page. Here are the money moves that will allow you to do that:Â
1. Divvy up money chores.
The biggest money chores you have are paying bills, tracking and paying taxes, and investing and saving. You have to decide who will be taking charge of these matters. You should each play up your strengths. If you're good at saving, then you take on that job and let your husband handle paying the bills. You'll also have to have a plan on keeping each other apprised of what's happening with your end of the money chores.
You'll have to agree how you'll pay for things. So, get to talking. Will you have an account to which you'll both contribute to pay for utilities and either rent or mortgage? What about groceries? Where is that money going to come from and who will take the lead?Â
2. Decide whether to have a joint bank account.
Some couples have all their money in one pile so to speak. Others have some money they save together, and some they save separately. The two of you have to communicate and decide what works for you. If you decide on a joint account, head to the bank together and be prepared to ask questions to make sure you get the best interest rates and deals, depending on what kind of account you want.Â
3. Make a budget.
Sit down together and figure out how much money you need to cover bills, including necessities, such as groceries, on a weekly and monthly basis. Then, decide how much you want to save. Compare this to your earnings and set limits on yourselves. Sometimes, it helps to track your spending for an entire week or month Just seeing the prices for things can encourage you to save. For instance, you might nix that latte at Starbucks when you realize you're blowing $30 to $50 per week there.Â
4. Agree to save for the future.
You should both commit to setting aside a certain amount of money for hard times. Finance people will tell you to save up enough for at least six months without earnings. A year, of course, would be better but maybe not realistic. Also, you should have savings for retirement. Many employers offer 401K accounts to employees, but you can always open an IRA, too.
There are other investments, such as mutual funds or stocks, that can help you sock away savings. Or you could save up for a home, which is also an investment in the future. Prioritize and plan together. If you want professional advice, consider meeting with a financial planner.Â
5. Tackle your debt.
Lots of newlyweds come into marriage with student loan or credit card debt. Some even go into debt when planning their dream wedding. Come up with a plan on how to pay it all off as quickly as possible. And stick to your strategy as best you can. Debt can cripple a couple's finances and cause unnecessary tension in a relationship.Â
6. Be smart about purchases.
My mother once sent my father out to buy a new washing machine, and he came home with a Cadillac. No joke. My mother was a good sport about it. But it wasn't my father's best move as a husband. Rule No. 1 is to inform your spouse when you need or want to make a big purchase. Then, decide together if it's the right thing to do. Compromise is key. My parents had enough to afford both the car and the washing machine. But if they hadn't, my father's decision would have caused a huge rift, I'm sure. That's exactly what you don't want.Â
7. Stop the money fights.
That is the perfect segue to stopping the money fights. Having a financial safety net for hard times can help keep tension at bay. But sometimes just having a different idea about how to spend or save can cause a disagreement. Communicate, be civil, and try not to make money mistakes that will just bring out the beast in you both.Â