Do you feel like your husband's mother instead of his wife? Do you do wish he did more around the house? Why has he suddenly turned into a twelve year old? Unfortunately ladies, it's probably our fault. Of course we don't do it purposefully, but we do change our independent hard working husbands into slush balls. At some point the mother hen syndrome comes out and there's no going back. Or is there?
I have been married for five years. My husband and I lived together for three years before we were married so basically, I've been doing his laundry for over eight years. In college he was the cook and I was the cleaner. We went to the grocery store, did the dishes and washed the clothes together. As a young wife I wanted to be the host in the parlor, chief in the kitchen and maid all at the same time. I ran around the house like a chicken with its head cut off and now…he's a slush ball.
Our careers do play a part in the absentmindedness of his efforts. I am a teacher and work the excellent hours of eight o'clock to three o'clock. He has an hour and fifteen minute commute and doesn't get home on a week day until six thirty. I do understand the difference in hours does allow me to take care of most of the house work and responsibilities, but all of them?
In May of last year my students were driving me crazy and a new large house had me at my breaking point. My husband and I had arguments about helping around the house in the past and I knew nagging at him wasn't the answer. I decided to compose a plan and present it skillfully.
On a night when dinner was cooked and the house was clean I initiated my plan. I took the feeble route which always works with men. If you haven't noticed men believe they have to fix things instead of just listen. I told him I needed his help, that I couldn't do it on my own anymore, that he was the man I counted on. After my needy routine and a few more compliments I pulled out a piece of paper to start the list.
I first listed all the work and responsibilities I would take care of around the house. Make sure you have these things in mind before starting. You do much more than you think and the longer your list the better. Then ask if he could do a few things like take out the garbage, put away the laundry and cook dinner once a week. His list does not have to be long, but be sure they are things that will inconvenience him if the jobs aren't completed. When he doesn't have clean underwear in his bedroom dresser it's an inconvenience. When the trash builds to an overflowing mess on the floor it's an inconvenience.
Okay, this is the hard part. Don't do it for him. No matter how bad the trash stinks, how high the laundry builds or if you're starving for the night don't give in. I have tried this many times and finally took the stupid trash out because my entire house smelled. Once you give in the entire plan is demolished. I absolutely hate dirty dishes in my sink, but if that's his job they will sit there for a month until he washes them. I learned eventually they get in a routine like the rest of us and begin doing it without thinking.
So ladies yes, we can undo the mother hen syndrome harness and get our strong self-sufficient husbands back. It just takes a little planning, acting and a
I have been married for five years. My husband and I lived together for three years before we were married so basically, I've been doing his laundry for over eight years. In college he was the cook and I was the cleaner. We went to the grocery store, did the dishes and washed the clothes together. As a young wife I wanted to be the host in the parlor, chief in the kitchen and maid all at the same time. I ran around the house like a chicken with its head cut off and now…he's a slush ball.
Our careers do play a part in the absentmindedness of his efforts. I am a teacher and work the excellent hours of eight o'clock to three o'clock. He has an hour and fifteen minute commute and doesn't get home on a week day until six thirty. I do understand the difference in hours does allow me to take care of most of the house work and responsibilities, but all of them?
In May of last year my students were driving me crazy and a new large house had me at my breaking point. My husband and I had arguments about helping around the house in the past and I knew nagging at him wasn't the answer. I decided to compose a plan and present it skillfully.
On a night when dinner was cooked and the house was clean I initiated my plan. I took the feeble route which always works with men. If you haven't noticed men believe they have to fix things instead of just listen. I told him I needed his help, that I couldn't do it on my own anymore, that he was the man I counted on. After my needy routine and a few more compliments I pulled out a piece of paper to start the list.
I first listed all the work and responsibilities I would take care of around the house. Make sure you have these things in mind before starting. You do much more than you think and the longer your list the better. Then ask if he could do a few things like take out the garbage, put away the laundry and cook dinner once a week. His list does not have to be long, but be sure they are things that will inconvenience him if the jobs aren't completed. When he doesn't have clean underwear in his bedroom dresser it's an inconvenience. When the trash builds to an overflowing mess on the floor it's an inconvenience.
Okay, this is the hard part. Don't do it for him. No matter how bad the trash stinks, how high the laundry builds or if you're starving for the night don't give in. I have tried this many times and finally took the stupid trash out because my entire house smelled. Once you give in the entire plan is demolished. I absolutely hate dirty dishes in my sink, but if that's his job they will sit there for a month until he washes them. I learned eventually they get in a routine like the rest of us and begin doing it without thinking.
So ladies yes, we can undo the mother hen syndrome harness and get our strong self-sufficient husbands back. It just takes a little planning, acting and a