Making Your Dysfunctional Work Family Functional You know that expression, "You can't pick your family?" Well, most of the time, you can't pick your co-workers either.
Navigating the daily social and emotional aspects of your job can start feeling like an awkward holiday dinner with your extended family.
The thing about holidays is, you can push yourself away from the table and go to another room, or better yet, go home! You don't have that option at work.
So, who are the workplace equivalents of your crazy relatives and how do you deal with them? Aunt Loudmouth Lenore The office loudmouth seems to think that you can make up in volume what you lack in sense.
You can hear her voice floating over the cubicles whether she is talking about work, her cats or her latest medical procedure.
At best, she is simply annoying.
At worst, she can ruin your concentration and make it impossible to focus on the important phone call you are on.
What are your options?

• Ask if you can relocate to a workspace that's out of earshot.
  But don't mention Lenore when you ask.
  Badmouthing a colleague isn't good for your career or your attitude.
  
• If you don't have to be on the phone, get yourself some white noise and pop your earbuds in.
  Some phones even have apps for white noise!
• When you are talking to a loudmouth, take your own volume down a few notches.
  People often mirror the person they are talking to in terms of volume.
  Do it enough and the volume might decrease permanently!

Grampa Grim There is always someone around who sees the glass half empty no matter how much you pour into it.
A new program is introduced and he says, "It'll never work.
" You mention a great lead you're working and he says, "You'll never close the deal.
" He can sap the optimism from a room in a split second.
How do you keep your can-do attitude going around Mr.
Can't-Do?

• When you hear Grampa Grim talking, make it a game to eliminate any negative words he uses.
  Suddenly, "This is not good" becomes, "This is good!"
• Don't confront the negativity directly.
  Chances are, he doesn't even realize he's doing it.
  Try turning it around and asking, "Do you have any ideas about how we can make this work?"
• Launch a counter-offensive.
  Talk about the positive things and bring other positive people into the conversation.
  Positivity (just like negativity) can be contagious.
  

Crazy Cousin Cathy No matter what that crazy cousin says, it's certain to have nothing to do with the issue at hand.
This is the person who lives for meaningless tangents and can add 30 minutes to a one hour meeting.
She's disruptive and counter-productive.
How do you keep things on track when she's around?

• Ignore.
  We've all been told that it's rude to ignore someone, so you have to be subtle about it.
  Act like you are listening to what she says and then bring the conversation back on task.
  
• Contain.
  It's hard to ignore someone who is asking a question and expecting an answer.
  Answer the question briefly and immediately get back to the subject at hand without waiting for a follow-up question.
  
• Respond and deflect.
  If ignoring and containing don't work, you can always say, "That's an interesting point.
  Let's table that and come back to it later.
  " Later can be in the same meeting, the next day or, hopefully, never.
  

Nate, the Nosy Nephew It can be tough sitting at the kids' table all the time at holiday dinners.
Nate is the kid who whines that he wants to sit with the adults and when that fails, keeps finding excuses to get up and join the adult table.
In the workplace, he's the one who is always questioning management decisions rather than just doing what needs to be done.

• Give him what he's asking for.
  He's persistent, so sometimes the best choice is to load him up with ways to get more information: lengthy reports, meeting minutes, web sites to check, etc.
  Pretty soon he will realize that this all adds up to more work for him and he'll back off.
  
• Be prepared.
  When you approach Nosy Nate, have a brief summary of the whys and wherefores ready to keep him from taking you off-track.
  
• Create camaraderie.
  Build relationships that include Nate and will remind him that, in the end, it's kind of fun at the kids' table!

It's not easy to get along with everyone, but being known as someone who plays well with others will help move you up the ladder and away from the very people who drive you crazy! Many of us find that over the course of a week, we actually spend more time with our work family than our real family.
If you want to be the fun aunt or uncle that everyone wants to be around, keep these simple tips in mind:

• Be self-aware.
  You can't change other people, but you can change how you react to them.
  Look first to what you can change on your end to foster a productive work environment.
  
• Be tolerant.
  Remember that usually the person isn't really trying to drive you crazy.
  It just comes naturally.
  
• Be your best self...
  always.
  Don't let someone else's bad attitude rub off on you.
  

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