So it's the holiday season, the time when we interact with our families the most.
This can be a stressful time for many people especially if your family relationships are not the best.
We have overbearing mothers, fathers who blurt out obscenities without warning, brothers who bring home a different bimbo every Thanksgiving, a loud aunt who knows everybody's business and will not hesitate to share with the first person who asks, "how are you doing?" You have your two cousins who are sisters and jealous of each other.
They constantly bicker over silly things.
Then we have to times that by two when we have a spouse, whose family is also involved.
So many personalities in one place can make for an interesting situation.
As parents we want our children to have positive, memorable holiday experiences with the family and we want to enjoy ourselves and have great memories too.
So how do we avoid getting stressed out every year? Here are just a few tips to help you get through and have fun.
Adjust your perspective.
The people in your family have been this way for years.
They will not change so you mind as well change the way you see and interact with them.
You might be surprised at how things go once you adjust your perspective.
Have fun with it.
If you don't expect people to change, then you have one less stress on you.
1.
Let your light shine.
Develop a positive attitude.
If you have to meditate or right in a journal all of your feelings so that it doesn't come out at an inappropriate time, then do that.
Have your mind open and free.
Things are going to be great and let others see you and hopefully you will rub off on them, if not, you are still in the right mood.
2.
No pep talks.
Some people think if they go to their family members and have a discussion about their behavior beforehand, things will be better.
You cannot control what people do naturally, besides behavior change is a life time journey; it's not something you can change overnight.
3.
Remember the children.
Put your children first.
We want them to have a good time.
Watch your behavior and what you show the children, they are watching even when we think they are not.
Unless there is behavior that puts them in danger, allow them to enjoy their family members.
This makes for great stories when they reminisce as adults.
4.
Don't prep the children.
Older children will be okay handling sticky situations with relatives and younger children might blurt out everything you told them in a way that my hurt your family's feelings.
Let nature take its course.
5.
Limit Your Time.
If your sanity cannot take being around your family and their shenanigans, set the time frame for your visit.
If they are coming to your house, you may need to take breaks by being in the kitchen or bathroom or even your bedroom.
Wherever you can go to take a few deep breaths is a good place.
Think about it ahead of time.
6.
Devise a plan.
With family dynamics, we know that there are always a few people who cannot stand to be in a room with each other.
If they are, anything can happen.
So based on the last few interaction between these disgruntled family members, what happened to fuel the fire? Now think about what can be done to prevent a volatile situation besides them not showing up at all.
If one of the disgruntled family members is you, it is up to you to be the bigger person and use the tactics above.
7.
Have fun! Our families are who they are and there's not much we can do to change them.
It's the holiday season, a time for togetherness, love and happiness.
Let's focus on the right things so that we don't get frustrated.
Enjoy your holiday season.
This can be a stressful time for many people especially if your family relationships are not the best.
We have overbearing mothers, fathers who blurt out obscenities without warning, brothers who bring home a different bimbo every Thanksgiving, a loud aunt who knows everybody's business and will not hesitate to share with the first person who asks, "how are you doing?" You have your two cousins who are sisters and jealous of each other.
They constantly bicker over silly things.
Then we have to times that by two when we have a spouse, whose family is also involved.
So many personalities in one place can make for an interesting situation.
As parents we want our children to have positive, memorable holiday experiences with the family and we want to enjoy ourselves and have great memories too.
So how do we avoid getting stressed out every year? Here are just a few tips to help you get through and have fun.
Adjust your perspective.
The people in your family have been this way for years.
They will not change so you mind as well change the way you see and interact with them.
You might be surprised at how things go once you adjust your perspective.
Have fun with it.
If you don't expect people to change, then you have one less stress on you.
1.
Let your light shine.
Develop a positive attitude.
If you have to meditate or right in a journal all of your feelings so that it doesn't come out at an inappropriate time, then do that.
Have your mind open and free.
Things are going to be great and let others see you and hopefully you will rub off on them, if not, you are still in the right mood.
2.
No pep talks.
Some people think if they go to their family members and have a discussion about their behavior beforehand, things will be better.
You cannot control what people do naturally, besides behavior change is a life time journey; it's not something you can change overnight.
3.
Remember the children.
Put your children first.
We want them to have a good time.
Watch your behavior and what you show the children, they are watching even when we think they are not.
Unless there is behavior that puts them in danger, allow them to enjoy their family members.
This makes for great stories when they reminisce as adults.
4.
Don't prep the children.
Older children will be okay handling sticky situations with relatives and younger children might blurt out everything you told them in a way that my hurt your family's feelings.
Let nature take its course.
5.
Limit Your Time.
If your sanity cannot take being around your family and their shenanigans, set the time frame for your visit.
If they are coming to your house, you may need to take breaks by being in the kitchen or bathroom or even your bedroom.
Wherever you can go to take a few deep breaths is a good place.
Think about it ahead of time.
6.
Devise a plan.
With family dynamics, we know that there are always a few people who cannot stand to be in a room with each other.
If they are, anything can happen.
So based on the last few interaction between these disgruntled family members, what happened to fuel the fire? Now think about what can be done to prevent a volatile situation besides them not showing up at all.
If one of the disgruntled family members is you, it is up to you to be the bigger person and use the tactics above.
7.
Have fun! Our families are who they are and there's not much we can do to change them.
It's the holiday season, a time for togetherness, love and happiness.
Let's focus on the right things so that we don't get frustrated.
Enjoy your holiday season.