The 'Blind Date' of the Modern Age

Long Distance Relationship – no other relationship phrase has the potential to make people react like you've recited the chant to summon Cthulu, except perhaps, "We need to talk." If you can get past the funny cats and even more questionable content on the internet, you'll find virtual oceans of questions about the legitimacy of long distance relationships. We've seen everything from "It's not a real relationship," to "How do you make it work?" Where's all this confusion coming from?



                                                 Cue the Mission: Impossible music

Is it so hard to believe that a relationship does not require the ability to wander over to your partner's apartment and pester them, or that two people can love each other while having independent lives from one another? Have we forgotten the core of what relationships are to begin with? 

To help put the tentacled monster back in its watery cage, here are 4 Things you Think you Know about Long Distance Relationships:

 

You Can't Handle The Truth! 

You've heard this one: people have long distance relationships because they can't handle "real ones." We're here to tell you that some towns are so abysmally out of candidates for real companionship, that looking elsewhere is actually the better option. We don't have to name names, you know if you live in one of these.

 



                                                                        We're talking to you.

 

Seriously, even if your town if is full of look-alikes of your idols, why limit yourself? In this day and age of instant connections, easily obtained webcams, free international communication, and even ridiculously fast international delivery services, chances are better than ever that you'll find someone who piques your interest, shares your values, and expands your horizons if you increase your pool of potential friends and love interests to include connections you can make on the web – responsibly and safely.

The fact is, long distance relationships of any sort (and there are many) can be just as complex, fulfilling, rewarding, and even fun as the types of relationships society is more ready to accept.

 

You Can't Possibly Know Each Other  

Not living next to one another means you have tons more to talk about. You don't have the same friends, you likely don't run across the same things, maybe you're countries apart and have different cultures. People living with one another don't go through mundane things like what their favorite coffee shop has in stock, but those of us that spend time even a state apart do. In this way, distance can be a perk. Distance gives couples the opportunity to explore every minute detail of a partner's life, and, in turn, to come up with fun ways to spill theirs.

 



Spilling the beans…it's romantic because it's a heart. Hey! All the captions can't be zingers.

 

While "normal" couples often spend time turning into vegetables watching their show of choice cuddled next to each other in silence, those doing things "wrong" learn to fill the distances with discussions, meaningful messages, heartfelt gifts, creativity, and honesty.  It can mean admitting the dark things you'd rather hide, learning to take the time to treasure each moment you can connect, and finding creative ways to remain a part of each other's lives, even far away.  If we're brutally honest, cuddles would be great, but they aren't everything, and living without them is doable.  

 

It Can't Be Real…(you're not doing ‘it')  

Another misconception is that long distance relationships are sexless, depressing things for those who can otherwise not "get any." Wrong! Suffice it to say there are ways around such things, and, believe it or not, despite our severe lack of teleporters, it is not impossible to visit one's far off love.

Plus, while love-making for many traditional couples can become routine, couples that are separated have to become inventive to keep the fires of romance burning. They get flirty, they learn the art of intellectual foreplay. If you didn't know, pictures are fun, presents don't have to be mundane, and phone calls don't have to be about talking.  

 



                          We suggest NOT making them about this, though. 

 

For the record, when separated loves do come together, they have drawn up ideas nearly as complex as battle plans for what they'll do when they're together. The moments apart make the ones together sweeter. And despite the myth, after months of only talking, long distance couples certainly have more tactile things to do. 

 

Long Distance Relationships are all Romantic  

Here is the grand-daddy of Long Distance Relationship myths. You don't need Eros to be involved in a long distance relationship. If you're interacting with someone on a regular basis, you're in a relationship with them, whether it's a business relationship, a family relationship, a friendship, or something else. Keeping up with your school buddies from home on Facebook? Or enjoying weekly raids with your WoW guild? These modern activities have sparked awesome, long-lasting, healthy, relationships that were at one point in time long distance only.

But it's not just us computer and gamer nerds (yes, some of us at GBO naturally put our fingers in the WASD position), even businesses are jumping onto the long distance relationship bandwagon. Skyping or emailing with team-members from departments in other states, or working on international issues with co-workers or customers across time zones? You're in a long-distance relationship.

Don't forget about the circumstances that can bring distance to families – both joyful and sad. Sending your overachiever for a semester overseas? You'll be doing the long distance dance. Or maybe your family homes a hero who's deployed overseas. Yep, that's a long distance relationship too.

 



             You gonna tell 'em it's not real?

 

And of course, there's one of the most common kinds of long distance relationship – the ones where family members or friends have simply moved to other cities, states, or countries. In fact, there are so many types of long distance relationships, we'd be surprised if you aren't in at least one.

Long distance relationships are nothing new. Ever since civilization started…well, being civilized, people have developed ways to connect with each other from afar. Messengers on foot, packages in ships, carrier pigeons, smoke signals, telegraphs, telephones…even Twitter. Why? Because there have always been long distance relationships, and we're just getting better at them.