If you're a fan of stuff like South Park, Cannibal The Musical and Team America: World Police, you probably started scrambling for Book of Mormon tickets the day the play opened. You might have started the search with a smile on your face, but you quickly discovered the joke was on you. And not just a knock-knock joke either: a salty joke filled with the kind of cruelty that made you feel like a real life Scott Tenorman. Those sweet, sweet Book of Mormon tickets were either:

• Sold out, or
• Available only on Broadway

And sure, you wanted to see The Book of Mormon : this play is dazzling audiences and critics across the country. The cast (Led by Jersey Boys star Andrew Rannells and the always versatile Josh Gad) is solid, the story is great, and the music, well - if you loved all the other stuff Matt Stone and Trey Parker have put out, you're already hungry to hear more of those dirty (and insanely catchy) tracks. But it felt like everybody else on the planet did, too. Going all the way to Broadway or paying exorbitant prices for scalped tickets... just didn't seem worth it.

Now, here's the hard truth. We can't really help you get local Book of Mormon Tickets if you live outside of the Northeast and you aren't willing to travel to Broadway. Even though there's an awesome Broadway Cast Recording CD in stores, and there are talks of a movie sometime down the line, Trey and Matt aren't ready to roll out a tour for this play yet. So unless you're willing to wait until next fall for these guys to come to Colorado, you're out of luck.

But somehow, someway, you've got to see this play! If you've tried to walk up to the ticket counter and get them that way, you've probably been dissapointed - it's just impossible to find Book of Mormon tickets at retail. The play is sold out through 2012 -- at the very least -- and the more tickets you want, the harder the task. For example, you might be able to snag a single ticket if you're persistent, but with a big Broadway play -- especially a crazy show like The Book of Mormon -- you'll want to go with a date at least. Visiting a show like this alone is going to be almost exactly as stressful as being a Mormon missionary stranded in Uganda and held under siege by a bloodthirsty warlord with a name we're much too polite to write in this space.

So that's out.

Here's How To Get Those Tickets!

If you want a package of Book of Mormon tickets, we can help you out. We're not a gang of wacky price gougers - we're smart, we got in early, and we're a great alternative to ticket megasites like StubHub. You don't need to throw up a bunch of prayers to get your hands on them, either. I promise.