Good parenting or care giving is a learning process that can take a lifetime to learn. Through trial and error and hopefully education a caregiver can teach a child proper behavior and how to make good choices.

It is straightforward for most people to understand what behaviors are acceptable and when a child requires guidance. However it is not always clear how to communicate this guidance.

It is of course important to make sure the message is being communicated in a proper manner such as normal tonality, volume of voice (no yelling) and not conveying something that is degrading to self esteem.

Beyond this, it is extremely important that the child actually understand the message you are trying to convey. A simple buy often overlooked issue is the vocabulary used. Simply put, if the child is not able to understand a word you are using, the child in unlikely to get the message, and thus will continue the inappropriate behavior or miss out on the guidance you are trying to provide.

If you use a word such as 'technique' when communicating to a child methods of helping control behavior - for example - 'we all have techniques we use to keep calm, it is OK', your message may not get through. The child may understand 'keep calm' or that something is 'OK', but if the child does not understand what the word 'technique' means, the message is lost.

Many children will not react and speak or show that they do not understand - it is important that you take an active role and make sure they are understanding the message in the specific way you mean.

Also, try to keep things simple if possible - in the example above you might have used the word 'tools' instead of 'techniques'.

Being mindful of the words and tonality you are using will go a long way in helping get your message through, and helping the child you care for.

Find additional reading and information at the AAIG news site (autism awareness information gateway) @ http://autism-awareness.org