I want to get engaged but my boyfriend doesn't.  This seems to be a dilemna that a lot of women are finding themselves in.  If you have been dating your boyfriend for what feels like a long time, and you are more than ready to tie-the-knot, then maybe it is time to try a different approach to discussing your future together with him.

Here are some steps that you can take to approach the subject with your boyfriend.  You need to be careful how you go about approaching this subject so that you don't scare him away because you are tired of waiting for him to make up his mind.  You want to be able to have an open discussion with him and tell him how you feel about him and your future together and identify what might be holding him back and work through those issues together.

1. Tell your boyfriend how you feel about him

Yes, don't hide your feelings or play head games with him.  Be open and truthful with him about how much you love him and how you want to spend the rest of your life with him.  By doing so, at least your boyfriend will know how you feel and where he stands in terms of your feelings for him.  There should be no doubt in his mind that you are ready to make a commitment with him and that you have no doubts about your relationship and your future together.

2.  Don't Make Any Threats

If you start a discussion that you want to get married but he comes right back with something like 'he is not ready to make that kind of commitment,'  then whatever you do, don't threaten to leave him if he doesn't propose to you.  You don't want to pressure him into marriage if he is not mentally ready to make that commitment and you also don't want to scare him away for good.

If you see that your discussion isn't going well, and he is getting uncomfortable then drop the subject and save it for another day.  You have to gage what is the best time and place to bring up the subject.  Maybe try making him a romantic dinner to help get him into the right frame of mind so that he is relaxed and open to a dicussion about your future together.

3. Listen to his viewpoint on marriage

If your boyfriend is feeling apprehensive about getting married because he feels that he is not emotionally or financially ready to settle down then reassure him that you would be contributing to the finances and all the benefits that would come with the double income.  Let him know that you are very willing to work through his concerns about getting married together.

These are just a few approaches to get a discussion going about how you feel about your boyfriend and how you want to spend the rest of your life with him.  Impress upon him that marriage is important to you and that without that commitment you won't feel like your relationship is headed in the right direction.  Your boyfriend needs to know that you want that commitment and that getting married is the only way of declaring your love for each other with a solid commitment.  

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