Everyone wants to be happy, but most of us do things that are counterproductive to achieving bliss. Do you engage in happiness-killers? Read on, and learn how to be a happier grandparent.
It's natural to brag on your grandchildren, and fun, too. But consider how that may feel to your friends who aren't grandparents but want to be. If you have friends who are grandparents, using the grandchildren in a game of one-upmanship isn't a good idea either. If you manage to convey that your grandchildren are smarter, more attractive and more successful, think of how your friends will feel. If they win the one-up game, you'll feel miserable. Either way it comes out, someone will feel bad. So just don't play. You'll be happier in the long run.
Study after study have shown that people are happier when they focus on building sound relationships rather than on accumulating things. Yet too often we show our love for our grandchildren through giving them things. There are times when gifts are appropriate, such as birthdays, but the giving and getting of stuff should not be the primary focus of your relationship with your grandchildren. Both grandparents and grandchildren will be happier if they focus on enjoying the good times and supporting each other in rougher times.
Having positive social interactions is highly correlated with happiness. If you are married or have a significant other, take care of that relationship. Happily married grandparents are great role models for the grandchildren. If you and your partner have disagreements about the grandchildren, try to reach a compromise. Also take care of your friendships. If you center your social life around your family, you can be left high and dry if family members move away or other changes in family structure occur. Your grandchildren may be the most important people in the world to you, but as they get older and start their own families, you are almost certain to see less of them.
All grandparents worry about their grandchildren. The things we worry about usually fall into one of two categories. They may be things that are out of our control completely, which means there is no point in worrying. Or they may concern decisions that parents have made, which generally we have to accept. It may help to have a phrase that helps us remember to step away from those situations that are out of our control -- not my job, not my call, let it be. After all, you don't want to be one of those grandparents who overstep boundaries, do you?
If you know what feeds your happiness, it's not being selfish to arrange for it to get fed. There will be a ripple effect, and those around you will benefit, too. Whether you need alone time or a night out, a hard workout or a good nap, try to make it happen. Of course, you know about the benefits of a healthful diet, appropriate exercise and enough sleep. Researchers have also found that being out of doors in natural light boosts happiness, and that's an easy fix that everyone can access.
1. Don't use your grandchildren to one-up your friends.
It's natural to brag on your grandchildren, and fun, too. But consider how that may feel to your friends who aren't grandparents but want to be. If you have friends who are grandparents, using the grandchildren in a game of one-upmanship isn't a good idea either. If you manage to convey that your grandchildren are smarter, more attractive and more successful, think of how your friends will feel. If they win the one-up game, you'll feel miserable. Either way it comes out, someone will feel bad. So just don't play. You'll be happier in the long run.
2. Emphasize people, not things.
Study after study have shown that people are happier when they focus on building sound relationships rather than on accumulating things. Yet too often we show our love for our grandchildren through giving them things. There are times when gifts are appropriate, such as birthdays, but the giving and getting of stuff should not be the primary focus of your relationship with your grandchildren. Both grandparents and grandchildren will be happier if they focus on enjoying the good times and supporting each other in rougher times.
3. Cut down on screen time.
The happiest people watch less than one hour of TV per day, according to the True Happiness Test from National Geographic. If missing your favorite show would make you unhappy, think of TV as a sweet treat and limit yourself to one helping. Being on social media too much can erode your happiness, too. You may be feeling fairly content with your lot until you log on and see that everyone else is #feelingexcited or #havingablast. Seeing posts from exotic places can be a downer, too. If you are the type who enjoys seeing other people's good news, log on. If not, stay off.
4. Take care of other relationships.
Having positive social interactions is highly correlated with happiness. If you are married or have a significant other, take care of that relationship. Happily married grandparents are great role models for the grandchildren. If you and your partner have disagreements about the grandchildren, try to reach a compromise. Also take care of your friendships. If you center your social life around your family, you can be left high and dry if family members move away or other changes in family structure occur. Your grandchildren may be the most important people in the world to you, but as they get older and start their own families, you are almost certain to see less of them.
5. Step away from the situation.
All grandparents worry about their grandchildren. The things we worry about usually fall into one of two categories. They may be things that are out of our control completely, which means there is no point in worrying. Or they may concern decisions that parents have made, which generally we have to accept. It may help to have a phrase that helps us remember to step away from those situations that are out of our control -- not my job, not my call, let it be. After all, you don't want to be one of those grandparents who overstep boundaries, do you?
6. Take care of your own happiness.
If you know what feeds your happiness, it's not being selfish to arrange for it to get fed. There will be a ripple effect, and those around you will benefit, too. Whether you need alone time or a night out, a hard workout or a good nap, try to make it happen. Of course, you know about the benefits of a healthful diet, appropriate exercise and enough sleep. Researchers have also found that being out of doors in natural light boosts happiness, and that's an easy fix that everyone can access.