Readers,
Into the unknown: life is completely unpredictable. For this entry, instead of bitching and whining about everything, I want to talk about one the biggest events that sent me crashing down to earth: my mother. What your about to read isn't that "repost" shit on Facebook. It isn't a chain email, or spam. What your about to read is my life, my reality, my heart, my pain.
Nearly 9 years ago, a little boy was approached by his father, and received news that mommy was to undergo surgery for a lump in her side. Of course the little boy doesn't understand. He doesn't realize what is happening, all he processes is that his mom is going to have surgery. Tears started to run, but for an unknown reason. The boy's father reassures him that everything will be ok, and the boy accepts his fathers wisdom, but the tears don't stop. Why, he asks. But no clear answer is put forth. And thus begins a life of not having an answer; just accepting truth and fact. That boy was me.
3 years later that boy has grown, he is taller, faster, and smarter. But still in his head, the question of "Why?", remains unanswered. But that is all gone, out of mind. The boy's mom was cured, the doctor said so, his father said so, she said so. It must be true, right? "Into the unknown: life is completely unpredictable".
The results from the post cure checkup. The boy's mother is given a date. She is given a clock, a timer for life. Secondary breast cancer in her liver was the diagnosis, and in terminal stages. Still not knowing hardly even what "cancer" is, the young boy receives word at his lunch period: the cancer is back, and in a loss of both innocence and security, the never to be understood tears are as well. "Why am I crying, what is going on?"
Upon returning home that day, I (the boy) remember seeing mentally awakening sight. I didn't understand, I just couldn't comprehend any of this horror. I burst through the door, and said nothing but, "where is mom?", "In her room". I raced up the stairs to see my mother, the mother who sang me to sleep, the mother who held me when i was scared, the mother who was there when I had a nightmare, the mother who woke me up with a smile every morning, and sent me to bed with a kiss every night, struggle to sit up. I gave her a hug, and we talked for a few minutes before I left. After I did, I went up the stairs, and broke down. The few unexplainable tears now turned into sobbing historically, I had seen my limits. My father approached with a calming presence. Explaining what happened that day, he cut out and sheltered me from "unneeded" details. After calming me, we got up to go down stairs to see my mother again, and as I approached, she said words that have changed my life since, "Don't give up on me, Sam. Don't ever give up hope. Don't ever quit on me".
Nearly 4 years, defying the "date" given to her, after 4 times of loosing her hair, over 40 sessions of chemo therapy, and NOT ONCE ever giving up ANY hope at all. I get off the bus and start the journey up our driveway, noticing that my grandparent's car was at our house, "an unexpected surprise!" I thought. But upon arriving to the home, found the family gathered in the living room. "Where are grandma and grandpa?", I ask as I can't find them anywhere. "They went into town to pick a few things up", was the response put forth by my father. "We have some... news... to talk about". My heart dropped, I new something was very wrong.
I sat in that chair as my father, still censoring and carefully picking his words explained that the cancer was spreading very fast and very far throughout my mother's body. "It could reach her brain within a month", were the last words uttered from his mouth before reality, for the first time, hit me like nothing ever before. My mother was going to die, and I now understood. Breaking down and sobbing i rush to my mom and am en-captured by open arms, and there I stay, for what seemed like hours. But upon release, I realize was only about 5 minutes. 5 minutes of reliving every precious moment I had with her.
The next month, was terrible. Knowing that when my mom went to the hospital, she was going to stay there until one day, she just wouldn't wake up. This reality was harsher than some people will experience in a life time. I was 12 years old, and I knew, that every time I look into my mother's eyes, and tell her that I love her, it very well may be the last time. I lived with that thought lingering over my mind, until one day, I came crashing down to earth, and that thought became reality. It became truth, my mother, on June 5, 2008 (My little brother's birthday) passed away from a 7 year fight with breast cancer.
The night before she passed away, I new something was different. I, just wasn't myself. All I could think about was the words my mother said to me just 4 years before, "Don't give up on me, Sam. Don't ever give up hope. Don't ever quit on me". I didn't. Not once did I, my family, or she EVER give up hope.
There it is, readers. This is why the title of this blog is "Down to Earth Teen". I know what reality is, far more than anyone should.
Thanks for reading
*Check out my blog, for more articles*
[http://downtoearthteen.blogspot.com/]
Until Next time
-Sam
Into the unknown: life is completely unpredictable. For this entry, instead of bitching and whining about everything, I want to talk about one the biggest events that sent me crashing down to earth: my mother. What your about to read isn't that "repost" shit on Facebook. It isn't a chain email, or spam. What your about to read is my life, my reality, my heart, my pain.
Nearly 9 years ago, a little boy was approached by his father, and received news that mommy was to undergo surgery for a lump in her side. Of course the little boy doesn't understand. He doesn't realize what is happening, all he processes is that his mom is going to have surgery. Tears started to run, but for an unknown reason. The boy's father reassures him that everything will be ok, and the boy accepts his fathers wisdom, but the tears don't stop. Why, he asks. But no clear answer is put forth. And thus begins a life of not having an answer; just accepting truth and fact. That boy was me.
3 years later that boy has grown, he is taller, faster, and smarter. But still in his head, the question of "Why?", remains unanswered. But that is all gone, out of mind. The boy's mom was cured, the doctor said so, his father said so, she said so. It must be true, right? "Into the unknown: life is completely unpredictable".
The results from the post cure checkup. The boy's mother is given a date. She is given a clock, a timer for life. Secondary breast cancer in her liver was the diagnosis, and in terminal stages. Still not knowing hardly even what "cancer" is, the young boy receives word at his lunch period: the cancer is back, and in a loss of both innocence and security, the never to be understood tears are as well. "Why am I crying, what is going on?"
Upon returning home that day, I (the boy) remember seeing mentally awakening sight. I didn't understand, I just couldn't comprehend any of this horror. I burst through the door, and said nothing but, "where is mom?", "In her room". I raced up the stairs to see my mother, the mother who sang me to sleep, the mother who held me when i was scared, the mother who was there when I had a nightmare, the mother who woke me up with a smile every morning, and sent me to bed with a kiss every night, struggle to sit up. I gave her a hug, and we talked for a few minutes before I left. After I did, I went up the stairs, and broke down. The few unexplainable tears now turned into sobbing historically, I had seen my limits. My father approached with a calming presence. Explaining what happened that day, he cut out and sheltered me from "unneeded" details. After calming me, we got up to go down stairs to see my mother again, and as I approached, she said words that have changed my life since, "Don't give up on me, Sam. Don't ever give up hope. Don't ever quit on me".
Nearly 4 years, defying the "date" given to her, after 4 times of loosing her hair, over 40 sessions of chemo therapy, and NOT ONCE ever giving up ANY hope at all. I get off the bus and start the journey up our driveway, noticing that my grandparent's car was at our house, "an unexpected surprise!" I thought. But upon arriving to the home, found the family gathered in the living room. "Where are grandma and grandpa?", I ask as I can't find them anywhere. "They went into town to pick a few things up", was the response put forth by my father. "We have some... news... to talk about". My heart dropped, I new something was very wrong.
I sat in that chair as my father, still censoring and carefully picking his words explained that the cancer was spreading very fast and very far throughout my mother's body. "It could reach her brain within a month", were the last words uttered from his mouth before reality, for the first time, hit me like nothing ever before. My mother was going to die, and I now understood. Breaking down and sobbing i rush to my mom and am en-captured by open arms, and there I stay, for what seemed like hours. But upon release, I realize was only about 5 minutes. 5 minutes of reliving every precious moment I had with her.
The next month, was terrible. Knowing that when my mom went to the hospital, she was going to stay there until one day, she just wouldn't wake up. This reality was harsher than some people will experience in a life time. I was 12 years old, and I knew, that every time I look into my mother's eyes, and tell her that I love her, it very well may be the last time. I lived with that thought lingering over my mind, until one day, I came crashing down to earth, and that thought became reality. It became truth, my mother, on June 5, 2008 (My little brother's birthday) passed away from a 7 year fight with breast cancer.
The night before she passed away, I new something was different. I, just wasn't myself. All I could think about was the words my mother said to me just 4 years before, "Don't give up on me, Sam. Don't ever give up hope. Don't ever quit on me". I didn't. Not once did I, my family, or she EVER give up hope.
There it is, readers. This is why the title of this blog is "Down to Earth Teen". I know what reality is, far more than anyone should.
Thanks for reading
*Check out my blog, for more articles*
[http://downtoearthteen.blogspot.com/]
Until Next time
-Sam