A dating profile is a unique document.
Equal parts personal brochure and ever-changing, exploratory journal - a dating profile is a way of getting others interested, staking out your personal territory and a great way to figure out who you are and what you want.
Show, don't tell The problem with most profiles is that people use adjectives to describe themselves ('I am funny, outgoing, sarcastic" etc).
This shows nothing of your personality.
Just as a great conversation is a way to use words, tone, inflection and humor to show your personality, so is writing a way to express who you are.
If you want to be funny and self-effacing, tell a funny anecdote from your childhood and be descriptive - almost like you were talking to a friend, and telling them the same story.
If you travel, describe what you love about traveling.
Did you enjoy meeting the Australian with the big personality, did you chafe at the rudeness of french people, do you love the spare desert of West Texas? Everything you were interested in, and the way in which you describe it, is an opportunity for the person reading your profile to learn something about you - something that 'loves to travel' just doesn't quite explain.
Make it immediate/time sensitive We all know the problem - information overload.
Your profile has to motivate a person to contact you sooner rather than later, otherwise there's just too much other stimulus out there to distract their attention.
So talk about a place you are thinking about traveling to in the near future.
Talk about an art exhibit closing soon, a one-time dance class, a restaurant with a patio that needs to be experienced now because summer is almost over.
Don't forget a little humor...
Life is short, and everyone has to deal with bills, family issues, parents and children - sometimes people want to forget about it for a little while! It doesn't mean that this is a comedy routine, but keep the tone light, and if you have a funny story (that's appropriate) then by all means tell it.
...
but be cautious, because tone is hard to pin down in writing Remember that you aren't in front of the person and able to explain, recover or move on.
If someone feels uncomfortable reading an off-color joke or reads something the wrong way, they will move on.
It doesn't mean second guess yourself, just be aware that you are writing for an audience that may have sensitivities, and it's up to the author to decide how to handle those.
Change it often A couple of reasons this is important - first, people are searching repeatedly, and new information can stand out more than something that hasn't changed for a month.
But also, writing the profile a couple of times over the course of a few months or weeks can really clarify what it is that you want - it can be a little bit like keeping a journal.
The profile changes, and maybe you get a little closer to understanding who you are, and what you want.
A word on profile photos Men: no sunglasses on the profile picture - a neutral expression looking off camera is best for a profile picture.
Have pictures that show you engaged in activities that you enjoy, but be sure that you can see the person in the picture - if they are too tiny, it's better to leave it out.
The abs shot can be effective, but just be aware of who you are trying to attract - some women are turned off by a photo of a guy with no shirt.
Women: I can't give much personal advice on this, but the OKcupid blog has an excellent article about effective profile pictures for women - their conclusion? The 'MySpace' shot wins out.
Equal parts personal brochure and ever-changing, exploratory journal - a dating profile is a way of getting others interested, staking out your personal territory and a great way to figure out who you are and what you want.
Show, don't tell The problem with most profiles is that people use adjectives to describe themselves ('I am funny, outgoing, sarcastic" etc).
This shows nothing of your personality.
Just as a great conversation is a way to use words, tone, inflection and humor to show your personality, so is writing a way to express who you are.
If you want to be funny and self-effacing, tell a funny anecdote from your childhood and be descriptive - almost like you were talking to a friend, and telling them the same story.
If you travel, describe what you love about traveling.
Did you enjoy meeting the Australian with the big personality, did you chafe at the rudeness of french people, do you love the spare desert of West Texas? Everything you were interested in, and the way in which you describe it, is an opportunity for the person reading your profile to learn something about you - something that 'loves to travel' just doesn't quite explain.
Make it immediate/time sensitive We all know the problem - information overload.
Your profile has to motivate a person to contact you sooner rather than later, otherwise there's just too much other stimulus out there to distract their attention.
So talk about a place you are thinking about traveling to in the near future.
Talk about an art exhibit closing soon, a one-time dance class, a restaurant with a patio that needs to be experienced now because summer is almost over.
Don't forget a little humor...
Life is short, and everyone has to deal with bills, family issues, parents and children - sometimes people want to forget about it for a little while! It doesn't mean that this is a comedy routine, but keep the tone light, and if you have a funny story (that's appropriate) then by all means tell it.
...
but be cautious, because tone is hard to pin down in writing Remember that you aren't in front of the person and able to explain, recover or move on.
If someone feels uncomfortable reading an off-color joke or reads something the wrong way, they will move on.
It doesn't mean second guess yourself, just be aware that you are writing for an audience that may have sensitivities, and it's up to the author to decide how to handle those.
Change it often A couple of reasons this is important - first, people are searching repeatedly, and new information can stand out more than something that hasn't changed for a month.
But also, writing the profile a couple of times over the course of a few months or weeks can really clarify what it is that you want - it can be a little bit like keeping a journal.
The profile changes, and maybe you get a little closer to understanding who you are, and what you want.
A word on profile photos Men: no sunglasses on the profile picture - a neutral expression looking off camera is best for a profile picture.
Have pictures that show you engaged in activities that you enjoy, but be sure that you can see the person in the picture - if they are too tiny, it's better to leave it out.
The abs shot can be effective, but just be aware of who you are trying to attract - some women are turned off by a photo of a guy with no shirt.
Women: I can't give much personal advice on this, but the OKcupid blog has an excellent article about effective profile pictures for women - their conclusion? The 'MySpace' shot wins out.