Pleasing your teen may not be right at the top of the list for parents of teens for the simple reason that the list is probably swamped with items such as how to communicate, what to feed, when to talk, right down to Why God, Why? This would be in direct opposition to not long ago when there was no new toy or nursery ornament you wouldn't get just to see that smile break out on that little upturned face.
So when did that feeling go out the window? Possibly when that cute upturned face drew level with your own furrowed brows, and then proceeded to stare down at your own helpless upturned face.
Whatever the dynamics behind this transition be, it would be worth your while to reconsider your tactics and think of ways to please your teen.
Now, this concept of pleasing your teen should at no time be allowed to deteriorate to a mindless pampering or as they say in teenspeak, big time ass kissing (I really do beg your pardon, but there simply is no equivalent to that wonderfully articulate term).
If you have the money to splurge, it becomes almost instinctive to just get them whatever their immature heart desired and then sit back and enjoy that momentary feeling of a job well done.
By no means; you have just set yourself up for a lifetime of mind games and emotional blackmailing.
You have programmed your child to equate money and all that it can buy with parental love and caring.
You would have caused your love to be equated with the amount of games, iPods, iPads, cell phones, laptops and cars you are able to get for your teen.
If, or more likely when, you stop your splurging, you would in effect be severing all connections.
So, using money to please your teen is really not the brightest of ideas.
It is a misconception that the way to your teenager's heart is through the commercial highway.
There is a lesser known path and that would be the age-old strategy of simply being a parent in every sense of what that term used to mean.
Pleasing your teen does not start when he or she turns thirteen but way before that when they are still young kids who are totally dependent on their Dads and Mums.
If they grew up believing unconditionally that these two very important folks in their lives really cared for them and put them before anything else, you'll have secure, confident teens in your hands.
It's like they say; by the time your kids are thirteen, you'll have the kids you deserve.
If your parenting scenario was not quite the same as I have describe above, you still can make amends and please your teen using means described below.
So when did that feeling go out the window? Possibly when that cute upturned face drew level with your own furrowed brows, and then proceeded to stare down at your own helpless upturned face.
Whatever the dynamics behind this transition be, it would be worth your while to reconsider your tactics and think of ways to please your teen.
Now, this concept of pleasing your teen should at no time be allowed to deteriorate to a mindless pampering or as they say in teenspeak, big time ass kissing (I really do beg your pardon, but there simply is no equivalent to that wonderfully articulate term).
If you have the money to splurge, it becomes almost instinctive to just get them whatever their immature heart desired and then sit back and enjoy that momentary feeling of a job well done.
By no means; you have just set yourself up for a lifetime of mind games and emotional blackmailing.
You have programmed your child to equate money and all that it can buy with parental love and caring.
You would have caused your love to be equated with the amount of games, iPods, iPads, cell phones, laptops and cars you are able to get for your teen.
If, or more likely when, you stop your splurging, you would in effect be severing all connections.
So, using money to please your teen is really not the brightest of ideas.
It is a misconception that the way to your teenager's heart is through the commercial highway.
There is a lesser known path and that would be the age-old strategy of simply being a parent in every sense of what that term used to mean.
Pleasing your teen does not start when he or she turns thirteen but way before that when they are still young kids who are totally dependent on their Dads and Mums.
If they grew up believing unconditionally that these two very important folks in their lives really cared for them and put them before anything else, you'll have secure, confident teens in your hands.
It's like they say; by the time your kids are thirteen, you'll have the kids you deserve.
If your parenting scenario was not quite the same as I have describe above, you still can make amends and please your teen using means described below.
- Never get into an argument with your teen.
When you feel things getting out of hand, make a graceful retreat and return to it later when cooler heads prevail.
Remember you are the mature person here and you're confronted with a turbulent teen whose hormones have gone berserk.
When you give them this leeway instead of cornering them, they'll be grateful for it.
You see, no teen enjoys getting into an all out with the parent. - Be there when your teen needs you whether it's an unsightly zit or a break up.
Give them space if they ask for it, but never let them feel abandoned.
Be at the periphery ready to step in. - Pay attention and stay fully focused when your teen talks to you.
Participate fully with intelligent observations and try not to be judgmental or all-knowing.