Teen anger management is a skill most parents need but are clueless on how to manage angry disruptive teens.
Why is it that you have to ask your teen to clean his room time and time again? Why is it that even with incentives like money teens tend to not be motivated enough to do what you've asked? Teens will respect the rules of the house if and when you learn the 6 levels of discipline.
There's a reason that teens stop following the rules that parents set out for them.
Parents are poor enforcers.
They let children win the war of mental battles.
Here's a typical scenario: Steve's parents work full time out side the home.
They would like for Steve to take on more responsibility, so that basic chores like cooking and cleaning gets taken care of.
They decide to have a stern conversation with Steve regarding his laziness and his unwilling to help out around the home.
After explaining to Steve in the best non-hostile tone his dad can muster, Steve reluctantly agrees to take out the litter and to empty all trash cans around the house.
Day 1 of the new rules Steve does take out the trash, but he forgets to place a new liner in the can.
His parents says nothing of this behavior.
On day 2 Steve takes out the trash and even puts a fresh liner in the can; he skips taking out the cat liter.
His parents barley notices a thing.
Day 3 finds Steve forgetting to take out the trash, and instead of taking out the litter, he thinks to himself--I'll do it tomorrow.
His parents barley notices.
Not being taken out in days, the litter starts to smell.
His mother notices this and immediately starts to yell at Steve for not taking care of the duties he clearly stated he would take care of a few days earlier.
After being yelled at, Steve does the one thing most teens will do in this circumstance--He yells back.
Steve's parents are a classic reason parents aren't good at teen anger management.
What the parents failed to do, therefore allowing this situation to get out of control was to micro manage the situation until they could put it on auto pilot.
They should have responded on day 1 when Steve did not place a fresh liner into the can.
They responded after the problem had become unmanageable.
Steve pushed the envelope, he tested the system, and found the holes in it and exploited the system.
It's not his fault.
These are the 6 levels of discipline for dealing with teen anger management: 1.
Be specific when laying down the rules (Does emptying the trash can mean placing a fresh liner in the bag?) 2.
Don't let your teen cut corners (Teens will slack if you're not stern about what needs to be done.
) 3.
Explain why you have certain rules (Explain to your teen that if they go over the allotted minutes with their cell plan your budget may not be able to handle such expenses.
If they happen to do it again, don't be afraid to disconnect the service) 4.
Don't make hallow threats (Make your word your bond--if teens can wiggle out they will) 5.
Keep a cool head at all times (Teens will feed off your positive unwavering energy.
) 6.
Learn negotiation skills (Lean to negotiate like a pro--there are countless books on the subject) Teen angry management and the necessary skills required will not be learned in 24 hours.
First it takes the courage to admit you have been making mistakes and it takes a willingness to learn something different.