It is very difficult to deal with the reality of acceptance whilst easy to talk about it.
Pain sufferers find it very challenging that they cannot any longer manage an important ability they feel they should perform with ease.
People with a chronic pain disability show no outward signs of their restrictions and others treat them as normal, expecting them to be able to do things normally too.
Coping with the loss of usual functioning is difficult as can be the attitudes and beliefs of other people towards pain conditions.
However, the conflict which exists cannot usefully be continued and sufferers benefit from working on acceptance of the situation.
In most things we have to accept the reality of what we are and what the present situation is.
We can in many cases make changes to our situation to improve things and get closer to what we want to be.
However, in some cases we are stuck with the situation we are in and we have no option but the accept it or fight against it.
Fighting it generates, as we have seen, conflict which has undesirable consequences.
Gradually moving towards acceptance can free us from this conflict and allow us, finally, to work at our difficulties in a productive manner.
If we don't accept our situation we cannot let go of the conflict and so we are unable to take up suggestions we or others might generate to make things better.
If I don't see why I should do things differently because I don't want to give in to the pain or let people down, I will not want to adopt a new method or accept a lower level of performance.
So we block ourselves from making the changes we need to and in many cases want to make or improve our lives.
Accepting This is where I am now and I have to cope with that is a big step and can open the gates to change.
We all have internal scripts which we have constructed to describe what we want to do and what we feel we are able to.
These are typically not conscious but are often quite specific descriptions of what we think is going on.
A good script to be able to say would be I am well and fit and able to do all the things I need to and want to in my life.
However, a person with low back pain or a disabling pain syndrome would be unable to say this and their internal words might be closer to I am stuck with this pain problem for ever and it's going to stop me doing pretty much everything.
This would be quite a resigned interpretation and would have repercussions.
However, very negative scripts, constantly going round and round in our minds, lead to negative thinking and depression.
One approach is to consciously generate new scripts and an example of this might be Even though I do have a pain condition which limits my ability, if I manage my situation well I will be able to do many of the things I want to in a modified manner.
This is a realistic description of the situation and more likely to lead to a realistic assessment of our situation and a more positive approach to any action which could be taken to improve it.
When our scripts describing ourselves are more realistic they are also more positive, though it is important not to generate unrealistic, rose-tinted scripts as they will be found out by us when we realize where we think we are is so far from reality.
More positive scripts allow us to participate in the changes that we might want or that a health professional might suggest, ideas that previously were unacceptable due to our inability to recognize where we really were in terms of our physical or mental state.
So if we can accept the situation to some extent it is much more likely we will adopt adaptive measures to improve our condition.
The typical behavior we adopt when we have a chronic pain problem, to push through the pain until the job's done can be altered.
Pain sufferers find it very challenging that they cannot any longer manage an important ability they feel they should perform with ease.
People with a chronic pain disability show no outward signs of their restrictions and others treat them as normal, expecting them to be able to do things normally too.
Coping with the loss of usual functioning is difficult as can be the attitudes and beliefs of other people towards pain conditions.
However, the conflict which exists cannot usefully be continued and sufferers benefit from working on acceptance of the situation.
In most things we have to accept the reality of what we are and what the present situation is.
We can in many cases make changes to our situation to improve things and get closer to what we want to be.
However, in some cases we are stuck with the situation we are in and we have no option but the accept it or fight against it.
Fighting it generates, as we have seen, conflict which has undesirable consequences.
Gradually moving towards acceptance can free us from this conflict and allow us, finally, to work at our difficulties in a productive manner.
If we don't accept our situation we cannot let go of the conflict and so we are unable to take up suggestions we or others might generate to make things better.
If I don't see why I should do things differently because I don't want to give in to the pain or let people down, I will not want to adopt a new method or accept a lower level of performance.
So we block ourselves from making the changes we need to and in many cases want to make or improve our lives.
Accepting This is where I am now and I have to cope with that is a big step and can open the gates to change.
We all have internal scripts which we have constructed to describe what we want to do and what we feel we are able to.
These are typically not conscious but are often quite specific descriptions of what we think is going on.
A good script to be able to say would be I am well and fit and able to do all the things I need to and want to in my life.
However, a person with low back pain or a disabling pain syndrome would be unable to say this and their internal words might be closer to I am stuck with this pain problem for ever and it's going to stop me doing pretty much everything.
This would be quite a resigned interpretation and would have repercussions.
However, very negative scripts, constantly going round and round in our minds, lead to negative thinking and depression.
One approach is to consciously generate new scripts and an example of this might be Even though I do have a pain condition which limits my ability, if I manage my situation well I will be able to do many of the things I want to in a modified manner.
This is a realistic description of the situation and more likely to lead to a realistic assessment of our situation and a more positive approach to any action which could be taken to improve it.
When our scripts describing ourselves are more realistic they are also more positive, though it is important not to generate unrealistic, rose-tinted scripts as they will be found out by us when we realize where we think we are is so far from reality.
More positive scripts allow us to participate in the changes that we might want or that a health professional might suggest, ideas that previously were unacceptable due to our inability to recognize where we really were in terms of our physical or mental state.
So if we can accept the situation to some extent it is much more likely we will adopt adaptive measures to improve our condition.
The typical behavior we adopt when we have a chronic pain problem, to push through the pain until the job's done can be altered.