For 20 of my 45 years I have been trapped in the minefield of depression.
Whenever I came across an emotional situation I would just dive.
I would stop eating (I couldn't eat I would be sick) and I would start to display all the symptoms of depression.
I have been married 3 times and divorced twice I have 3 children one with each husband.
I can hear you say depressed she is just nuts but that is not so.
I hold down a very important job in the NHS and I have 3 lovely children (it is not just me who thinks that) so I must be ok.
When I suffered my first bout of depression it came with panic attacks as well as being unable to eat and communicate and look after myself.
Luckily I was staying with my parents at the time.
My GP was very understanding, he had an interest in mental health and popped me on the tablets straight away along with some Valium just to calm me down until the anti depressants started to work.
I was 25.
Over the next 20 years this performance would repeat itself, on one occasion I was offered counselling I would love to say this helped but as anyone is my situation would know counselling is only as good as the counsellor.
She wasn't good, great at talking and giving advice but not hot on the listening! In 2005 my husband was diagnosed with MS, my youngest son was kicking the teacher, and my daughter smoking and drinking she was 13.
Over the next year the tablets were a godsend, then my daughter left home and my son had "help" with his behaviour all along I felt like a passenger in my own life.
Things kept happening to me.
In January 2008 I was on the internet looking for a way to earn some extra cash ! My husband was going to bed at 8pm and I seemed to have time on my hands.
I needed to be busy.
A job opportunity found me a distributor for a wellness company.
I needed to lose a bit of weight I had blossomed up to a size 14.
So I signed up.
I did loss the weight I needed, but there was a side effect I hadn't expected I became calmer.
The issues were still there but I felt more able to cope.
I wanted to come off the anti depressants and so I did.
I didn't go to the Doctor, I knew how to reduce the dose and come off the tablets and I didn't want to be told what to do.
Within a month I was drug free and still calm.
The emotional issues didn't go away in fact at times they have been worse but I have not felt out of my depth or unable to cope.
I feel great, life begins at 45 and it just keeps on going.
I can now deal with whatever is thrown at me.
I am lighter mentally as well as physically.
I have been reading Quantum healing by Deepak Chopra an enlightening book which is backing my theories with science.
I have always realised that my mind influenced my physical health and vice versa.
To see it in print written by such an eminent author is a vindication of my experience.
Whenever I came across an emotional situation I would just dive.
I would stop eating (I couldn't eat I would be sick) and I would start to display all the symptoms of depression.
I have been married 3 times and divorced twice I have 3 children one with each husband.
I can hear you say depressed she is just nuts but that is not so.
I hold down a very important job in the NHS and I have 3 lovely children (it is not just me who thinks that) so I must be ok.
When I suffered my first bout of depression it came with panic attacks as well as being unable to eat and communicate and look after myself.
Luckily I was staying with my parents at the time.
My GP was very understanding, he had an interest in mental health and popped me on the tablets straight away along with some Valium just to calm me down until the anti depressants started to work.
I was 25.
Over the next 20 years this performance would repeat itself, on one occasion I was offered counselling I would love to say this helped but as anyone is my situation would know counselling is only as good as the counsellor.
She wasn't good, great at talking and giving advice but not hot on the listening! In 2005 my husband was diagnosed with MS, my youngest son was kicking the teacher, and my daughter smoking and drinking she was 13.
Over the next year the tablets were a godsend, then my daughter left home and my son had "help" with his behaviour all along I felt like a passenger in my own life.
Things kept happening to me.
In January 2008 I was on the internet looking for a way to earn some extra cash ! My husband was going to bed at 8pm and I seemed to have time on my hands.
I needed to be busy.
A job opportunity found me a distributor for a wellness company.
I needed to lose a bit of weight I had blossomed up to a size 14.
So I signed up.
I did loss the weight I needed, but there was a side effect I hadn't expected I became calmer.
The issues were still there but I felt more able to cope.
I wanted to come off the anti depressants and so I did.
I didn't go to the Doctor, I knew how to reduce the dose and come off the tablets and I didn't want to be told what to do.
Within a month I was drug free and still calm.
The emotional issues didn't go away in fact at times they have been worse but I have not felt out of my depth or unable to cope.
I feel great, life begins at 45 and it just keeps on going.
I can now deal with whatever is thrown at me.
I am lighter mentally as well as physically.
I have been reading Quantum healing by Deepak Chopra an enlightening book which is backing my theories with science.
I have always realised that my mind influenced my physical health and vice versa.
To see it in print written by such an eminent author is a vindication of my experience.