Retirement Humor - Jokes That Aren"t Over the Hill!
When it comes to retirement humor, jokes tend to focus on few themes.
Senior citizen jokes usually have a punch line that hitches on the changes of an aging body or mind, or on the loss or depletion of skills or functions related to those changes.
These jokes are pretty universal, since, if we are lucky, we live to become a senior citizen.
If the topic is retirement humor, jokes often hit on the sudden freedom that retirement brings - including its possible downfalls.
While many of these jokes focus on going from work to a supposed state of leisure, others highlight possible hyperactivity or conflicts with a spouse due to suddenly spending so much time together.
It's the fact that we can relate to a situation about retirement or aging that will make a joke funny.
But just because the themes are familiar, the joke itself doesn't have to be.
Here are some funny quotes and some jokes to enjoy for yourself and to try on your friends and family.
Quotes: o When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference.
(Virginia Graham) o He who laughs last at the boss' jokes probably isn't far from retirement (unknown).
o When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.
(Gene Perret) o The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your boss does (unknown).
o Retirement is when the living is easy and the payments are hard (unknown).
o Retirement at 65 is ridiculous.
When I was 65, I still had pimples (George Burns).
Jokes: o A physician has to tell his patient some bad news, so he tries to phrase it gently.
"There's good news and bad news, Mr.
Smith.
" Mr.
Smith asks, "Geez, Doctor, tell me the bad news first.
" The doctor says, "You have Alzheimer's, I'm afraid.
" "Wow.
Then what's the good news?" "You won't remember this tomorrow.
" o Three old men sat on a park bench on a blustery afternoon.
The first said, "It's windy today, isn't it?" The second one said, "It's Thursday.
" The third one added, "Me too.
Let's get some tea.
" o An elderly woman turned to her husband and said, "Dear, let's go upstairs and make love.
" To which he replied, "Pick one or the other - I can't do both.
" o How do you know you're getting older? When you don't sleep in the same room as your teeth.
Do you think you have a great grasp of retirement humor? Jokes could even earn you some extra money to help pad your fixed-income budget.
Reader's Digest magazine accepts jokes from readers.
If yours gets accepted for publication, you'll get paid $100.
It's pretty competitive, but if you have a gem of a joke, you should give it a try.
Or, try the online blog of epifunnies.
You can tell a funny story from your everyday life and if they post it, they pay $15.
From reading the stories, you don't have to be too talented a comedy writer to get accepted, so give it a try!
Senior citizen jokes usually have a punch line that hitches on the changes of an aging body or mind, or on the loss or depletion of skills or functions related to those changes.
These jokes are pretty universal, since, if we are lucky, we live to become a senior citizen.
If the topic is retirement humor, jokes often hit on the sudden freedom that retirement brings - including its possible downfalls.
While many of these jokes focus on going from work to a supposed state of leisure, others highlight possible hyperactivity or conflicts with a spouse due to suddenly spending so much time together.
It's the fact that we can relate to a situation about retirement or aging that will make a joke funny.
But just because the themes are familiar, the joke itself doesn't have to be.
Here are some funny quotes and some jokes to enjoy for yourself and to try on your friends and family.
Quotes: o When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference.
(Virginia Graham) o He who laughs last at the boss' jokes probably isn't far from retirement (unknown).
o When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.
(Gene Perret) o The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your boss does (unknown).
o Retirement is when the living is easy and the payments are hard (unknown).
o Retirement at 65 is ridiculous.
When I was 65, I still had pimples (George Burns).
Jokes: o A physician has to tell his patient some bad news, so he tries to phrase it gently.
"There's good news and bad news, Mr.
Smith.
" Mr.
Smith asks, "Geez, Doctor, tell me the bad news first.
" The doctor says, "You have Alzheimer's, I'm afraid.
" "Wow.
Then what's the good news?" "You won't remember this tomorrow.
" o Three old men sat on a park bench on a blustery afternoon.
The first said, "It's windy today, isn't it?" The second one said, "It's Thursday.
" The third one added, "Me too.
Let's get some tea.
" o An elderly woman turned to her husband and said, "Dear, let's go upstairs and make love.
" To which he replied, "Pick one or the other - I can't do both.
" o How do you know you're getting older? When you don't sleep in the same room as your teeth.
Do you think you have a great grasp of retirement humor? Jokes could even earn you some extra money to help pad your fixed-income budget.
Reader's Digest magazine accepts jokes from readers.
If yours gets accepted for publication, you'll get paid $100.
It's pretty competitive, but if you have a gem of a joke, you should give it a try.
Or, try the online blog of epifunnies.
You can tell a funny story from your everyday life and if they post it, they pay $15.
From reading the stories, you don't have to be too talented a comedy writer to get accepted, so give it a try!