Renewing your marriage vows can be very romantic.
Some couples may choose to do it as part of a full wedding celebration following a private marriage ceremony at an earlier date.
Others may opt to renew their vows as a way of giving their marriage a fresh start after a particularly trying period.
Most commonly, these types of events are held in commemoration of a milestone anniversary.
Whatever the reason, there are some matters of etiquette which are universal to all vow renewals.
These are the dos and don'ts of renewing your marriage pledge: Do: Call it what it is.
In cases where the bride and groom decide to have a small private ceremony shortly before the big wedding day, there may be a temptation to call the whole thing a wedding.
This is not fair to your guests.
If they are witnessing a renewal of vows followed by a traditional reception, label it honestly.
They have the right to know.
Don't: Be too honest.
In other words, your guests do not need to know that your initial ceremony was a shotgun marriage performed in City Hall because you mistakenly thought you were pregnant! They might also find it unromantic to learn that you had a quickie marriage for reasons of health insurance or some other cold, practical matter.
In the case of a vow renewal in the wake of a serious marital problem like adultery, never refer to the incident.
The chances are that many of your guests already know anyway, but more to the point, talking about what has been overcome will merely serve to remind everyone of the unpleasant incident, rather than putting the focus on the rebirth of the relationship.
Do: Feel free to wear a white bridal gown and classic bridal jewelry.
It can be the same that you wore on your wedding day (especially fun for a renewal held on a milestone anniversary, as the bride gets to show off that her gown still fits after all those years of wedded bliss!).
Or feel free to select a brand new gown, in bridal white or whatever color strikes your fancy.
Get as elaborate as you like with the bridal jewelry, however, omit the train and veil, as those are only for first time brides.
A large tiara would also be a bit much, especially given the age of most women by the time they renew their vows; a more discreet hair ornament like a jeweled comb or a fresh flower would be beautiful and appropriate.
Don't: Forget about your husband's attire! If it has been years since he wore the tux from your wedding, take a careful look at it.
It may be that it has faded over time, that the style will look outdated, or that it simply does not fit like it once did.
Your vow renewal might be the perfect excuse for your husband to get a handsome new suit.
Do: Have any type of reception that you please following the service.
It can be just as grand as a traditional wedding reception, with all the trimmings (except the bouquet toss, perhaps).
Or feel free to have an intimate party for only your closest family and friends in the private room of your favorite restaurant or club.
If having a small party, it would be very nice to have a cake to cut (maybe with your original wedding cake topper, if you have it), but other than that, the reception can be treated just like any other really nice dinner party (with the bride and groom picking up the entire tab, of course).
Finally, if your original wedding was a day which you remember very fondly, by all means replicate some of the details from it for your vow renewal.
You could carry the same type of bouquet, dance to the same first song, or perhaps display some of the wedding photos.
These personal touches will make your vow renewal ceremony even more meaningful and beautiful.
Some couples may choose to do it as part of a full wedding celebration following a private marriage ceremony at an earlier date.
Others may opt to renew their vows as a way of giving their marriage a fresh start after a particularly trying period.
Most commonly, these types of events are held in commemoration of a milestone anniversary.
Whatever the reason, there are some matters of etiquette which are universal to all vow renewals.
These are the dos and don'ts of renewing your marriage pledge: Do: Call it what it is.
In cases where the bride and groom decide to have a small private ceremony shortly before the big wedding day, there may be a temptation to call the whole thing a wedding.
This is not fair to your guests.
If they are witnessing a renewal of vows followed by a traditional reception, label it honestly.
They have the right to know.
Don't: Be too honest.
In other words, your guests do not need to know that your initial ceremony was a shotgun marriage performed in City Hall because you mistakenly thought you were pregnant! They might also find it unromantic to learn that you had a quickie marriage for reasons of health insurance or some other cold, practical matter.
In the case of a vow renewal in the wake of a serious marital problem like adultery, never refer to the incident.
The chances are that many of your guests already know anyway, but more to the point, talking about what has been overcome will merely serve to remind everyone of the unpleasant incident, rather than putting the focus on the rebirth of the relationship.
Do: Feel free to wear a white bridal gown and classic bridal jewelry.
It can be the same that you wore on your wedding day (especially fun for a renewal held on a milestone anniversary, as the bride gets to show off that her gown still fits after all those years of wedded bliss!).
Or feel free to select a brand new gown, in bridal white or whatever color strikes your fancy.
Get as elaborate as you like with the bridal jewelry, however, omit the train and veil, as those are only for first time brides.
A large tiara would also be a bit much, especially given the age of most women by the time they renew their vows; a more discreet hair ornament like a jeweled comb or a fresh flower would be beautiful and appropriate.
Don't: Forget about your husband's attire! If it has been years since he wore the tux from your wedding, take a careful look at it.
It may be that it has faded over time, that the style will look outdated, or that it simply does not fit like it once did.
Your vow renewal might be the perfect excuse for your husband to get a handsome new suit.
Do: Have any type of reception that you please following the service.
It can be just as grand as a traditional wedding reception, with all the trimmings (except the bouquet toss, perhaps).
Or feel free to have an intimate party for only your closest family and friends in the private room of your favorite restaurant or club.
If having a small party, it would be very nice to have a cake to cut (maybe with your original wedding cake topper, if you have it), but other than that, the reception can be treated just like any other really nice dinner party (with the bride and groom picking up the entire tab, of course).
Finally, if your original wedding was a day which you remember very fondly, by all means replicate some of the details from it for your vow renewal.
You could carry the same type of bouquet, dance to the same first song, or perhaps display some of the wedding photos.
These personal touches will make your vow renewal ceremony even more meaningful and beautiful.