Any Lifetime viewer by now knows Asia Monet Ray, mostly as one-word moniker (like Cher) who has instilled fear in the kids of Dance Moms (whom she consistently beat—to the delight of dance coach Abby Lee and the horror of the other dance moms), wowed viewers of Abby’s Ultimate Dance Contest, and now has even die-hard fans wincing with concern over her new series, Raising Asia.
Raising Asia, a reality show that’s supposed to take us from seeing Asia as just one of the six or seven girls on Dance Moms and offer us a glimpse at her whole world, her home life, her new aspirations to dance, act, and sing.
Sadly, it may be too much of a good thing.
But is it more of Asia that's the problem or more of the adults in her life?
On Dance Moms, Asia’s mom Kristie Ray, a former bodybuilder model turned stage mom-manger, seemed like one of the smarter moms. She was fierce, protective, polished and respectful of the commitment Abby was asking of Asia. Kristie was a woman in control, which was great to see.
Winning competitions, dancing, trying to prepare for a career in the arts when you haven’t even hit puberty is hard work. As we've seen on Dance Moms, some parents help their children rise to the occasion, while others do not.
Mackenzie and Maddie’s mom Melissa decided to have her girls home schooled so they could have more time to train and perform. Of course, for Melissa, "home schooled" doesn't mean she teaches her children. It means she brings in tutors to work with them.
On Raising Asia, Kristie decides to home school Asia as well; but she does it herself, which actually serves to further isolate Asia from other people.
Plus you can't help wondering about the potential for huge gaps in Asia’s education. It's hard to teach children to be smarter than their teacher.
That’s not to say a lot of moms don’t make the same mistake, but here it's just one more sign of how controlling Kristie can be.
In the new light of Raising Asia, Kristie starts to appear like a control freak. We see how far and wide Kristie's control spans and, as a viewer, it’s a little disturbing. Even worse, Asia’s father, Shawn Ray, has recently decided to get involved in Asia’s career--and show himself to be overbearing, condescending, and controlling in a whole other way.
Shawn Ray, a former professional body builder with a fan base of his own won the 2013 NPC National Bodybuilding ChampionshipsArnold Classic award. (I suppose the Rays' body building history is probably a sign--it's a 'sport' that is all about control and self obsession). In the first episode of Raising Asia Shawn argues with Asia’s manager because Shawn hasn’t seen Asia’s contract. Her manager, Billy tells Shawn that his contract with Asia has been in effect for eons and that Kristie has a copy of it. Shawn says, “well just get me the contract” as though Kristie doesn’t have the authority or knowledge to handle a contract and it’s easier for him to get the manager to go dig it out and fax it over than to just ask his wife for her copy.
There are plenty of scenes like this that make Shawn seem overbearing and creepy. Kristie is so controlling she often tries to get the cameras turned off, especially if Asia smarts off or refuses to do something. And perhaps Kristie has reason to worry about those moments being caught on tape; because they are often the most cringe-worthy moments on the show.
Too often they are moments that remind viewers that Asia may be a celebrity, but she's also a little girl, who is missing out on an ordinary childhood. In one particularly telling scene, Asia’s younger sister Bella is having her birthday party at a roller rink. Asia is thrilled. But it turns out Asia can’t skate; her parents won’t allow her to because she could get injured. We see Asia on the sidelines watching the other kids and her own parents skate with Bella.
Asia breaks into tears and tells her dad she just wants to be able to play with her sister like a normal kid. But moments later, she has wiped away the tears and tells the camera that her parent were right; one day of happiness can’t get in the way of her quest for superstardom.
The show is all about that quest. We she how much the adults in Asia's life want her to achieve that quest. Her manager, Billy, wants her to be the next Nickelodeon star; her choreographer, Anthony, calls her Baby Beyonce; her parents just know she’s a superstar so they have her learning to sing, learning to act, and taking her dance act to any--and every--venue that will have her; including over-21 clubs, where she has to change clothes in the parking lot.
By day, Kristie has little contact with her other daughter, Bella (the normal kid who gets to bike and skate and do gymnastics because she wants to and the family's future isn't on her shoulders). But, at the same time, Kristie monitors Asia every moment like an obsessive celebrity trainer/manager.
Asia's stringent diet doesn't include egg yolks or dairy (so no milkshakes allowed); in one scene Kristie and Shawn actually get into a fight because he made Asia's breakfast eggs with yolks intact. Asia has to constantly monitor her body, her image and her physicality like some Olympic athlete or supermodel. In the long term it seems like all of this will be a negative impact on Asia's psyche.
Which is why some people hate Raising Asia, and worry that Asia is being exploited. When they see Asia wearing clothes inspired by Beyonce's wardrobe even though Asia is only 9-years-old; they ask if any child--even one as sassy and precocious as Asia--should be dressed like a Vegas showgirl. Should they be performing in clubs where people drink and smoke and gamble? Should Asia have sexy semi-clad (adult) backup dancers?
Still, no one can deny that there is something magnetic about Asia that captures your attention when she is performing. Off stage, when she’s talking to the camera (or talking to her mom by saying things like, “What do you want from me lady?”) she is less endearing. But the mixed-race dancer (she’s of African American, German, Samoan, and Chinese descent) is captivating to watch on stage. She’s appeared in a Hillary Clinton documentary, in a runway show for Sketchers shoes, and on the cover of Dance Spirit magazine. When she performs all eyes are on her, her expressive face, her mastery of rhythm and timing.
After Asia left Dance Moms, (right before the finale last season), Kristie told reporters Asia had big things in the works and that Dance Moms, because it focuses on the troupe, not the individual kids, "does hold the kids back on letting them be themselves.“
Raising Asia certainly gives us more of Asia--and her mom--but in doing so are we seeing too much? Maybe it's a little like seeing how sausage is made. If this is what child stars go through in the quest for more stardom, is it worth the costs?
As much as I enjoy watching Asia on stage, it's hard to watch Raising Asia and not to be bothered by lingering questions: Are we now seeing the "real" Asia or simply the Asia that Kristie and Shawn and Billie and Anthony want her to be? What does Lifetime want Asia to be--and how has that impacted what we see on the show? The camera may be unbiased, but editors certainly have a stake in presenting Asia one way or another.
And finally: What impact will discarding Asia's childhood have on her life?