One of the most devastating news a parent can get is that their child is getting a divorce.
Not only does this unravel their world, it also brings a huge loss to your life and to the grandchildren it will affect.
What can you do to help your children? The best thing to do is to be supportive and not judgmental.
Keep your guilt, shame, fear, denial, anger, disappointment and regret to yourself.
Communicate clearly, listen to what your child is saying and know that you cannot fix it.
Divorce hurts in so many ways, by causing financial burdens and much emotional turmoil.
You can imagine what your child is going through, but maybe not what the grandchildren will be feeling when they find out.
To help your divorcing child with the difficult discussion of telling the kids, it is advisable to follow the recommendations of the Child-Centered Divorce Network.
Children must be reassured that their parents will always be their parents, that the divorce is not their fault, that they are safe no matter where they live and that their parents will always love them.
These messages are extremely important and should be reinforced by the parents.
As grandparents, you can also help to create a successful outcome for the entire family when you promote the same philosophy.
Other things you can do for the grandchildren are to: 1.
Stay involved in their lives after the divorce, to maintain stability and familiarity 2.
Be neutral with them when discussing their parents and do not take sides.
3.
Enjoy your time with them to secure positive memories for them.
4.
Be creative about how to stay in contact by learning to email, text message or video cam.
Use old reliable venues like snail mail and the phone as often as you can.
You have to emotionally support your children, but do not forget the significant role you play with the grandchildren as they move through this difficult time and beyond.
Not only does this unravel their world, it also brings a huge loss to your life and to the grandchildren it will affect.
What can you do to help your children? The best thing to do is to be supportive and not judgmental.
Keep your guilt, shame, fear, denial, anger, disappointment and regret to yourself.
Communicate clearly, listen to what your child is saying and know that you cannot fix it.
Divorce hurts in so many ways, by causing financial burdens and much emotional turmoil.
You can imagine what your child is going through, but maybe not what the grandchildren will be feeling when they find out.
To help your divorcing child with the difficult discussion of telling the kids, it is advisable to follow the recommendations of the Child-Centered Divorce Network.
Children must be reassured that their parents will always be their parents, that the divorce is not their fault, that they are safe no matter where they live and that their parents will always love them.
These messages are extremely important and should be reinforced by the parents.
As grandparents, you can also help to create a successful outcome for the entire family when you promote the same philosophy.
Other things you can do for the grandchildren are to: 1.
Stay involved in their lives after the divorce, to maintain stability and familiarity 2.
Be neutral with them when discussing their parents and do not take sides.
3.
Enjoy your time with them to secure positive memories for them.
4.
Be creative about how to stay in contact by learning to email, text message or video cam.
Use old reliable venues like snail mail and the phone as often as you can.
You have to emotionally support your children, but do not forget the significant role you play with the grandchildren as they move through this difficult time and beyond.