Introduction Are there some things that are more important if you want to be a perfect husband? Or are all things equally important? These are some of the questions that men often ask if they are struggling to make their marriages work.
This article seeks to shine some light on this issue.
Five Most Important Attitudes This article highlights the Five Attitudes which are most important for you to have, and constantly display, to be a good (and happy) husband.
Attitude 1: Be Grateful The Attitude of Gratefulness is listed first since it is the core of everything else.
If you can be grateful for ALL you have in your life, you will be a happy, contented person whose life will be a constant pleasure.
Al lot can be written about this - in fact, complete books have been written on the subject of gratefulness.
But since this article is about how to be abetter husband, we shall just concentrate on that one aspect of gratefulness.
Be grateful for your wife.
In the rush of life it is so easy to fall into the habit of not being grateful for your wife, and assuming that she will automatically just always be there.
Almost like your bed - there when you need it, but otherwise you don't really notice it.
Never allow your wife to become a piece of furniture in your mind.
Instead, be grateful for her.
Every morning when you wake up, say "Thank you for my wonderful wife.
" During the day, while at work, whenever you think about your wife, be thankful for her and express that gratefulness by saying "Thank you for my wonderful wife.
" At night, just before you go to sleep, repeat again, "Thank you for my wonderful wife.
" But don't only thank God for your wife.
Also show your gratefulness to her.
Tell her that you are so grateful that she has chosen to share her life with you.
Tell her how she makes your life a better, fuller and more wonderful experience.
Do this often, but never allow it to become a chore - always do it with the utmost sincerity.
Attitude 2: Be Joyful Joyfulness is the second core attitude of life.
The whole reason for your being here in the first place is to experience as much joy as possible.
If you think that God put you on this earth just to make things difficult for you, you are missing the point completely.
God wants your life to be a joyful experience.
And similarly, God wants you marriage to be a joyful experience.
You should therefore always be on the lookout for things to be joyful about.
Keep looking for things that will put you in a joyful state of mind, and see how that changes your life.
Now we get back to your marriage again.
You should be experiencing constant joy in your marriage.
Therefore you should look out for things that will bring you and your wife joy together.
If it gives the two of you joy to watch the sunset together, then do that.
If it gives you both joy to walk the dog in the park, then do that.
There are a gazillion possible things that could bring joy into your marriage.
Identify those things that bring you both joy, and then make the time to do them together.
Attitude 3: Be Loving This is such an obvious thing that it should not even be necessary to mention it here.
Yet the sad fact is that men often allow themselves to fall into the habit of not being loving to their wives.
Often we think that, if we work hard to bring home the money that the family needs that is enough.
It is not! As humans beings we all need love, and we thrive if we are given love.
You should also not make the mistake of thinking that you are showing your wife love if you have sex with her.
Yes, sex can be an expression of love, but it is not automatically so.
Being loving to your wife goes much further than having sex with her.
The way you talk to her.
The words you use when you talk about her.
How you assist her with the work in the house (for example if you are being grumpy while helping her with the dishes).
All these could be done in loving way or in an unloving way.
Even jokes about your wife could be insensitive.
I have a friend who always told everybody what a pathetic driver his wife was.
He meant it to be a joke, but after hundreds of times it was not funny to her any more and one could see the hurt in her eyes.
Look for opportunities to praise your wife rather than making degrading jokes about her.
Attitude 4: Be Accepting Nobody is perfect.
My wife is not perfect.
And neither is yours.
Similarly, neither are you or me! Nobody is perfect.
That doesn't mean that we should stop improving ourselves, however.
Of course not! We should always strive to become better.
Better husbands, better fathers, better employees, better citizens, better people, etc.
The trick it to accept your wife as she is, while helping her get better.
To be accepting means not to criticise.
Remember, also, that what you consider to be "right" is your opinion.
She might not think the same.
So, rather than forcing your opinion on her, discuss the issue with her and find a solution that will be beneficial to your marriage.
Earlier this week I heard the following being said, "It is more important to save your marriage than to win an argument.
" This is so very true, and so important.
But let us get back to acceptance of your wife.
It goes beyond the things she does...
it also is about how she is.
You should not try to change your wife's personality.
If you don't like her personality, then why did you get married to her in the first place? She must have had enough good characteristics for you to want to marry her.
So focus on those, and ignore the ones that are less preferable.
Also ask her to point out to you the things that you do that are irritating to her, and work on improving those.
So, to expect your wife to be perfect is unfair to her.
Accepting her as your God given gift who fills your life is a much better approach to having a happy wife...
and to being a happier husband at the same time! Attitude 5: Be Blessing One important thing to remember (and DO!) is to "be there" when you spend time with your wife.
Being absent-minded, thinking of work or financial worries, etc while you spend time with her only succeeds in beaming the message to her that she is not really important.
That those other things are more important.
You cannot build a healthy relationship that way! When you spend time with your wife, spend the time with her, and her only! One of the best things you can do for your wife is to pray to God daily to bless her.
You can obviously do this in your own private time with God.
But why not make a habit of praying with your wife, and then blessing her so that she can hear.
That puts you on the spot right there - you cannot be insincere.
It will also make you think about the blessings that you pray over your wife.
And it will show her that you are really seriously in love with her, and that her wellbeing is extremely important to you.
Recently I read an article where the writer suggested that husband and wife should look each other in the eyes while they pray to God for the blessings that they request for their spouse.
If you do this, it will not only improve your relationship with your wife, but also the quality of your prayers.
Never Stop Becoming A Better Husband