Throughout my life, I have met probably hundreds, no -thousands of people.
Between middle school, high school, various extra-curricular activities and especially college, I must have introduced myself for the first time to more than ten thousand people.
Though, when I look back over my life, I think about the friendships that have remained constant through everything, and am thankful for the real "sister friends" I have in Christ.
Relationships and even friendships are sometimes easy to develop, but difficult to maintain.
You ask why? I believe it is because we don't understand the true purpose for friendships, and I know once we walk into this understanding, the true cultivation of our growth in Jesus Christ will increase.
What I have learned in my lifetime is that a true friend has four major qualities among other things; a friend always loves, always gives, rebukes and corrects in love, and always seeks for and gives wise counsel.
Now don't get me wrong, no one is perfect, we all make mistakes, nevertheless when you call someone your friend, are you aiding them in becoming everything God has called them to be? Proverbs 12:26 says "The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.
" We as Christians must choose our friends purposefully.
This is very important, and will eliminate some of the distractions you have on the journey to fulfilling your purpose.
Once we prayerfully consider the prospect, is when the road to discovering yourself begins.
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
" (Proverbs 17:17).
Have you ever had a close friend that lies about little things, or puts on heirs, or always has an attitude? I have, and as much as I wanted to walk away from the relationship and leave them alone with their issues, I would not be fulfilling my role in the person's life.
It's always easier to love someone who is perfect, or close to it, though when a close friend or family member doesn't line up to the character of God they are striving for, it is our duty to still love them unconditionally.
Even though we like to think of ourselves as perfect, we aren't, and God loves us so much more than we could ever understand.
So, even when our friends are sometimes attitudinal, or bossy, when we shut them out or push them aside because of their issues, how are we growing as one body, in the body of Christ? "Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom.
For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.
" (Luke 6:38) One thing I always observe about my friends is what is their need from me, and how can I give that need.
Whether it is spending time with them on the weekends, or working with them on a community service project they may be working on, showing them I care about their needs is important to the cultivation of a friendship.
It's selfish to focus on your needs in a friendship, and expect the other person to always listen to your problems, always go the places you want them to go, or even spend the amount of time they want you to give them.
Relationships are about give and take, and we should always be focused on the giving element.
"Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
" (Proverbs 27:6) Now in no way do I enforce physical violence, though sometimes the words we may speak to our friends hurt, especially when they are an open rebuke or correction in how we should be walking with God.
The word says in Ecclesiastes 7:5 "It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise than for a man to hear the song of fools.
" The friends you pick should be wise, and they should also be in a position in your life where they can hold you accountable and let you know when you are wrong.
This is important because you would want them to do the same for you to right? "Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man's friend gives delight by hearty counsel.
" (Proverbs 27:9).
This scripture references what we just talked about as well.
When I speak to my friends, or my husband, or anyone for that matter, what comes out of my mouth should be sweet, and encouraging.
Some people believe their "tell it like it is" mentality is the best way to get their point across, however the bible says differently.
When this scripture refers to hearty counsel, it speaks to what the other person is receiving.
The word Hearty in the Webster's dictionary means; Abundant, rich, or flavorful enough to satisfy the appetite, expressed unrestrained.
This means the counsel I should be speaking to my friend should be the truth, and given in such quality that the receiver is fulfilled in the answer that was given.
The wisdom that comes from you or your friends lips should be plentiful, pure, and significant in the life of that person.
The word says that Jesus came that we might have life and have it more abundantly.
This means to me that he did not just come to save us, but to give us an opportunity to enjoy life while we are here on this earth, and be an example to those who do not yet know him.
By doing this our lives must line up to the word of God, and we must explicitly follow the way he would want us to live.
In that, I propose to you the relationships you have around you greatly affect how you will grow, if we take time to examine our lives, our friendships, and our purpose, how many of us are really giving the area of our relationships over to God? I at a point and time in my life had to walk away from friendships and relationships that were holding me back, and had to reconsider how much of a friend I was to certain individuals.
After much prayer and conversation, I know in my heart that I have the right group of friends around me who assist me in my development of who I am to be for Christ.
I charge you with looking at the people around you, and asking yourself if the ones who are around you the most, are the ones that are aiding and abetting any complacent behavior, or the ones supporting and encouraging your growth as an individual.
Between middle school, high school, various extra-curricular activities and especially college, I must have introduced myself for the first time to more than ten thousand people.
Though, when I look back over my life, I think about the friendships that have remained constant through everything, and am thankful for the real "sister friends" I have in Christ.
Relationships and even friendships are sometimes easy to develop, but difficult to maintain.
You ask why? I believe it is because we don't understand the true purpose for friendships, and I know once we walk into this understanding, the true cultivation of our growth in Jesus Christ will increase.
What I have learned in my lifetime is that a true friend has four major qualities among other things; a friend always loves, always gives, rebukes and corrects in love, and always seeks for and gives wise counsel.
Now don't get me wrong, no one is perfect, we all make mistakes, nevertheless when you call someone your friend, are you aiding them in becoming everything God has called them to be? Proverbs 12:26 says "The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.
" We as Christians must choose our friends purposefully.
This is very important, and will eliminate some of the distractions you have on the journey to fulfilling your purpose.
Once we prayerfully consider the prospect, is when the road to discovering yourself begins.
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
" (Proverbs 17:17).
Have you ever had a close friend that lies about little things, or puts on heirs, or always has an attitude? I have, and as much as I wanted to walk away from the relationship and leave them alone with their issues, I would not be fulfilling my role in the person's life.
It's always easier to love someone who is perfect, or close to it, though when a close friend or family member doesn't line up to the character of God they are striving for, it is our duty to still love them unconditionally.
Even though we like to think of ourselves as perfect, we aren't, and God loves us so much more than we could ever understand.
So, even when our friends are sometimes attitudinal, or bossy, when we shut them out or push them aside because of their issues, how are we growing as one body, in the body of Christ? "Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom.
For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.
" (Luke 6:38) One thing I always observe about my friends is what is their need from me, and how can I give that need.
Whether it is spending time with them on the weekends, or working with them on a community service project they may be working on, showing them I care about their needs is important to the cultivation of a friendship.
It's selfish to focus on your needs in a friendship, and expect the other person to always listen to your problems, always go the places you want them to go, or even spend the amount of time they want you to give them.
Relationships are about give and take, and we should always be focused on the giving element.
"Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
" (Proverbs 27:6) Now in no way do I enforce physical violence, though sometimes the words we may speak to our friends hurt, especially when they are an open rebuke or correction in how we should be walking with God.
The word says in Ecclesiastes 7:5 "It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise than for a man to hear the song of fools.
" The friends you pick should be wise, and they should also be in a position in your life where they can hold you accountable and let you know when you are wrong.
This is important because you would want them to do the same for you to right? "Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man's friend gives delight by hearty counsel.
" (Proverbs 27:9).
This scripture references what we just talked about as well.
When I speak to my friends, or my husband, or anyone for that matter, what comes out of my mouth should be sweet, and encouraging.
Some people believe their "tell it like it is" mentality is the best way to get their point across, however the bible says differently.
When this scripture refers to hearty counsel, it speaks to what the other person is receiving.
The word Hearty in the Webster's dictionary means; Abundant, rich, or flavorful enough to satisfy the appetite, expressed unrestrained.
This means the counsel I should be speaking to my friend should be the truth, and given in such quality that the receiver is fulfilled in the answer that was given.
The wisdom that comes from you or your friends lips should be plentiful, pure, and significant in the life of that person.
The word says that Jesus came that we might have life and have it more abundantly.
This means to me that he did not just come to save us, but to give us an opportunity to enjoy life while we are here on this earth, and be an example to those who do not yet know him.
By doing this our lives must line up to the word of God, and we must explicitly follow the way he would want us to live.
In that, I propose to you the relationships you have around you greatly affect how you will grow, if we take time to examine our lives, our friendships, and our purpose, how many of us are really giving the area of our relationships over to God? I at a point and time in my life had to walk away from friendships and relationships that were holding me back, and had to reconsider how much of a friend I was to certain individuals.
After much prayer and conversation, I know in my heart that I have the right group of friends around me who assist me in my development of who I am to be for Christ.
I charge you with looking at the people around you, and asking yourself if the ones who are around you the most, are the ones that are aiding and abetting any complacent behavior, or the ones supporting and encouraging your growth as an individual.