Stay at Home Dad - The Trials and Tribulations
It had never occurred to me that I would be a stay at home dad! In my twenties I had a good job in a senior position working for a prominent company.
By the time our first child was born, I was frustrated by my job, and had it not been for the fact that we had already made the easy (in terms of logic) decision that I would leave work and look after our baby, then I would have certainly found alternative employment.
My partner works in the legal industry and compared to me was well paid.
In fact when we did our sums, it was going to cost us more money to put our son into the nursery we had found that we were happy with, than I was making after travel expenses and the like.
An easy logical decision! Far from it, emotionally.
I have always been comfortable with my own company, but was not prepared for 10 hours a day, five days a week with little more than a baby for company, coupled with the monotony of day to day household tasks.
Many of my male friends looked on enviously with thoughts of days spent playing computer games or watching sport on the T.
V.
They are deluding themselves.
I have complete admiration for anyone bringing up children, particularly for working and single parents.
Over the years I have attended many local groups and made a few good friends but generally felt like an outsider, a little like a man on a girls' night out I would imagine.
Thankfully stay at home dads are now more widespread, and I understand that organised groups are now increasingly common.
Financially things have been difficult; fortunately we rarely had the energy to go out so the fact that we had no money was not really that significant.
As with all parents you don't want your kids to miss out and essentially you want to provide the same opportunities for all.
We had both decided that we wanted our children to spend time in a structured setting with other children from quite an early age.
We felt they would be more confident around both adults and children, also that a change of scene would make them more flexible.
So when our eldest was around one year old we put him in a nursery one day a week.
Although extremely expensive, he began to thrive there almost immediately.
Equally we wanted the same for our youngest when he reached the same age, which was when things became more difficult from a monetary perspective.
We had to tighten our belts (still further) and alter a few financial arrangements, but it has been worth it.
Both are friendly and confident and have found the transition from nursery to school very comfortable.
In two years I can count on one hand the number of times either child has uttered those terrifying words "I don't want to go to school" and been difficult about attending.
It has been a pleasure and a privilege to watch our children grow both emotionally and physically as a stay at home dad, and continues to be, probably even more so as a work at home dad.
The trials are more extensive, fitting work and an education around all the other things I do is difficult, but the rewards of a profitable and challenging days work make it all the sweeter.
It may have been an enforced decision but it has proved to be a good decision, despite all the trials and tribulations, tears and tantrums (from both the kids and I!) and one I would not change for the world.
By the time our first child was born, I was frustrated by my job, and had it not been for the fact that we had already made the easy (in terms of logic) decision that I would leave work and look after our baby, then I would have certainly found alternative employment.
My partner works in the legal industry and compared to me was well paid.
In fact when we did our sums, it was going to cost us more money to put our son into the nursery we had found that we were happy with, than I was making after travel expenses and the like.
An easy logical decision! Far from it, emotionally.
I have always been comfortable with my own company, but was not prepared for 10 hours a day, five days a week with little more than a baby for company, coupled with the monotony of day to day household tasks.
Many of my male friends looked on enviously with thoughts of days spent playing computer games or watching sport on the T.
V.
They are deluding themselves.
I have complete admiration for anyone bringing up children, particularly for working and single parents.
Over the years I have attended many local groups and made a few good friends but generally felt like an outsider, a little like a man on a girls' night out I would imagine.
Thankfully stay at home dads are now more widespread, and I understand that organised groups are now increasingly common.
Financially things have been difficult; fortunately we rarely had the energy to go out so the fact that we had no money was not really that significant.
As with all parents you don't want your kids to miss out and essentially you want to provide the same opportunities for all.
We had both decided that we wanted our children to spend time in a structured setting with other children from quite an early age.
We felt they would be more confident around both adults and children, also that a change of scene would make them more flexible.
So when our eldest was around one year old we put him in a nursery one day a week.
Although extremely expensive, he began to thrive there almost immediately.
Equally we wanted the same for our youngest when he reached the same age, which was when things became more difficult from a monetary perspective.
We had to tighten our belts (still further) and alter a few financial arrangements, but it has been worth it.
Both are friendly and confident and have found the transition from nursery to school very comfortable.
In two years I can count on one hand the number of times either child has uttered those terrifying words "I don't want to go to school" and been difficult about attending.
It has been a pleasure and a privilege to watch our children grow both emotionally and physically as a stay at home dad, and continues to be, probably even more so as a work at home dad.
The trials are more extensive, fitting work and an education around all the other things I do is difficult, but the rewards of a profitable and challenging days work make it all the sweeter.
It may have been an enforced decision but it has proved to be a good decision, despite all the trials and tribulations, tears and tantrums (from both the kids and I!) and one I would not change for the world.