After a brief experience of being married I am questioning if marriage is really for me? After all, the act of getting married didn't bring any long term joys or sadness to me. Sure the ceremonies were beautiful and I was sad to not be able to enjoy the wedding cake but my level of happiness didn't drastically increase or decrease after marriage. A live-in relationship was identical to marriage minus the ceremonies.
Looking back we probably got married to either please our parents or to prove our commitment to each other.
Do you get hurt less in a relationship than a marriage if things don't go as expected? I doubt it. Yes, the number of people who get hurt will increase €" families and relatives from both sides are now part of the ordeal and have to express their disappointment too. If you have kids and divorced then it gets uglier. However, for a single guy like my with no kids what is the appeal of marrying again?
If and when I am in a relationship again my level of commitment and caring would be the same regardless of being stamped as €married'.
What if things don't work out again? Then even I would start telling myself that it's all my fault. What if it turns to be a mediocre marriage and not the one that makes your friends envious? I've never been fond of mediocre, in my eyes you are either a star or a failure. Then again we Indians make several compromises in our first marriage so why should we expect hitting a jackpot second time around?
Who do we (divorced men and women) think we are anyway to have screwed up the first time and still look for another chance at happiness?
This fear of another divorce would be hanging on my head all the time. It could also lead to me caving in and doing things only to please my partner. That would be a waste of who I actually am.
Agreed, I am not Mr. Perfect but I am not looking for Miss Perfect either.
If we measure a man's success in life by the amount of happiness he managed to accumulate then I don't see marriage as a step or requirement to being successful. The moment you get married, the families and relatives put so much unnecessary pressure that you feel exhausted at the beginning of a marathon. This, my friends is unavoidable in our society.
Even sex is not something people wait for till after marriage anymore. This is the general trend that I have observed and why should anyone have to anyway?
No one wants to be stuck with someone who's lousy in bed or doesn't make you feel special.
If the point of getting married is to live happily ever after with a partner you get along with and raise a family when you are both ready; then I don't see marriage is a requirement. I actually see it as a hindrance.
The only thing that would make me remarry now is to either please my parents or show my commitment to someone.
Been there. Done that.
Looking back we probably got married to either please our parents or to prove our commitment to each other.
Do you get hurt less in a relationship than a marriage if things don't go as expected? I doubt it. Yes, the number of people who get hurt will increase €" families and relatives from both sides are now part of the ordeal and have to express their disappointment too. If you have kids and divorced then it gets uglier. However, for a single guy like my with no kids what is the appeal of marrying again?
If and when I am in a relationship again my level of commitment and caring would be the same regardless of being stamped as €married'.
What if things don't work out again? Then even I would start telling myself that it's all my fault. What if it turns to be a mediocre marriage and not the one that makes your friends envious? I've never been fond of mediocre, in my eyes you are either a star or a failure. Then again we Indians make several compromises in our first marriage so why should we expect hitting a jackpot second time around?
Who do we (divorced men and women) think we are anyway to have screwed up the first time and still look for another chance at happiness?
This fear of another divorce would be hanging on my head all the time. It could also lead to me caving in and doing things only to please my partner. That would be a waste of who I actually am.
Agreed, I am not Mr. Perfect but I am not looking for Miss Perfect either.
If we measure a man's success in life by the amount of happiness he managed to accumulate then I don't see marriage as a step or requirement to being successful. The moment you get married, the families and relatives put so much unnecessary pressure that you feel exhausted at the beginning of a marathon. This, my friends is unavoidable in our society.
Even sex is not something people wait for till after marriage anymore. This is the general trend that I have observed and why should anyone have to anyway?
No one wants to be stuck with someone who's lousy in bed or doesn't make you feel special.
If the point of getting married is to live happily ever after with a partner you get along with and raise a family when you are both ready; then I don't see marriage is a requirement. I actually see it as a hindrance.
The only thing that would make me remarry now is to either please my parents or show my commitment to someone.
Been there. Done that.