My Suggestions on Dealing With Grief and Holidays
My suggestions on dealing with grief and holidays comes to you from experience as I have had to deal with the holidays after the death of a six year old boy.
Yes, we are all very different in handling or our dealing with our loss of a loved and cherished one.
Yes, the pain in unbearable and it seems as though we can't make it, but somehow we are given the strength to endure the most difficult thing ever in our lives.
Our emotions at this time of year can be anger, loneliness, sadness, guilt, numbness and terrible depression.
These are all things that we deal with in our grief process and we all experience different levels of each of these at various times, never at the same time.
If you can possible write in a journal or notebook, the feeling that you are feeling on your worst days, this sometimes bring relief.
If you have other children, encourage them to write about their brother or sister.
Encourage them to write whatever is in their mind and hearts and send them up in a balloon or attached to one, as in possibly writing to the sibling that they have lost.
Please don't keep all of your feelings bottled-up as they are similar to a teakettle sitting on the hot stove, they need to let off steam to feel better.
When the holidays are coming upon us now, make plans and possibly change them so it helps all of you deal with the loss of the child.
Maybe put the tree in a different room, buy a gift in memory of your child and give it to a needy child, hang the stocking anyway and put things in it if you choose to and then donate the things to a child that doesn't have a Christmas at all.
Do what makes you all feel good at the time, don't worry about what others opinions are.
Be good to you.
Allow 'bad' days, as they most certainly will come.
Consider joining a support group as I did, as those that come to those meetings have also lost their child and we all grieve differently, so just one pointer that you take away from the group is definitely a life-line needed at that time.
Another idea for you is to 'remember to remember' your loved one.
I choose to put seasonal flowers at the cemetery still.
The first holidays, I always hung his stocking, even though I couldn't put anything in it.
I still put up his favorite nativity scene and remember him in that special way every year and that helps and still feels good to do after all these years.
I have found that doing something special for others helps me the most and in my mind am doing it in memory of my son.
Sometimes your family isn't your biggest supporter as they too are dealing in their own way with the grief of their loss so you truly need a support group to talk with.
Parents who have not lost a child do not know how to help you so seek out others who have lost also.
They may not know all the answers but they and you can share hugs, stories of your loved ones, memories of each others children and tips on how each of you are dealing in the holidays and daily.
Yes, we are all very different in handling or our dealing with our loss of a loved and cherished one.
Yes, the pain in unbearable and it seems as though we can't make it, but somehow we are given the strength to endure the most difficult thing ever in our lives.
Our emotions at this time of year can be anger, loneliness, sadness, guilt, numbness and terrible depression.
These are all things that we deal with in our grief process and we all experience different levels of each of these at various times, never at the same time.
If you can possible write in a journal or notebook, the feeling that you are feeling on your worst days, this sometimes bring relief.
If you have other children, encourage them to write about their brother or sister.
Encourage them to write whatever is in their mind and hearts and send them up in a balloon or attached to one, as in possibly writing to the sibling that they have lost.
Please don't keep all of your feelings bottled-up as they are similar to a teakettle sitting on the hot stove, they need to let off steam to feel better.
When the holidays are coming upon us now, make plans and possibly change them so it helps all of you deal with the loss of the child.
Maybe put the tree in a different room, buy a gift in memory of your child and give it to a needy child, hang the stocking anyway and put things in it if you choose to and then donate the things to a child that doesn't have a Christmas at all.
Do what makes you all feel good at the time, don't worry about what others opinions are.
Be good to you.
Allow 'bad' days, as they most certainly will come.
Consider joining a support group as I did, as those that come to those meetings have also lost their child and we all grieve differently, so just one pointer that you take away from the group is definitely a life-line needed at that time.
Another idea for you is to 'remember to remember' your loved one.
I choose to put seasonal flowers at the cemetery still.
The first holidays, I always hung his stocking, even though I couldn't put anything in it.
I still put up his favorite nativity scene and remember him in that special way every year and that helps and still feels good to do after all these years.
I have found that doing something special for others helps me the most and in my mind am doing it in memory of my son.
Sometimes your family isn't your biggest supporter as they too are dealing in their own way with the grief of their loss so you truly need a support group to talk with.
Parents who have not lost a child do not know how to help you so seek out others who have lost also.
They may not know all the answers but they and you can share hugs, stories of your loved ones, memories of each others children and tips on how each of you are dealing in the holidays and daily.